Rock Star Supernova

Okay, so the only reasonable explanation for Rock Star Supernova -- the CBS-spawned rock monstrosity featuring ex-Metallica bassist Jason Newsted, ex-Guns N' Roses guitarist Gilby Clarke, ex-Pam Anderson hubby Tommy Lee and some Canadian ex-nobody dude on vocals -- is that it's all just an elaborate hoax. Seriously. Three aging rockers and one wannabe form a band via a Mark Burnett-produced reality TV show, and it's not supposed to be some didactic lesson on the truly vacuous and hackneyed nature of corporate music? Are you sure? Crap. That means that, like -- whoa -- Rock Star Supernova actually just sucks. The few singles released off the group's self-titled debut are painfully awash in generic pop-rock guitars and banal wish-I-were-Chris-Martin vocals. If anyone's laughing in this equation, it's probably Burnett -- all the way to the bank.