I'll trade you the T206 Honus Wagner for a crazy waiter. My friends and I trade bad waiter and waitress stories like baseball cards, and though I will always love Benny's, the bad waiter stories are so plentiful here that they're comparable to a no-name Rockies relief pitcher in the trading-card business. So when I stopped in on Memorial Day, the crazy waiter seemed par for the course. When he came to the table, he was alternately overly solicitous and pissed off; we nicknamed him Bipolar Waiter. When I asked what type of bourbon was available, BP replied in a huff, "We are a tequila bar. We only serve tequila." Only tequila, huh? Never mind all those other drinks we've consumed during the decades we've been going to Benny's; why does the current menu list a Bloody Mary ($2.75) and a Screwdriver ($2.75) as brunch specials? "Those are only at brunch," BP declared. So did that mean I couldn't have a vodka and soda? Yes, he said. Just as he gave this unbelievable answer, I was distracted by the Maury Povich tease revealing that the day's topic was "Did my boyfriend cheat on me because I only have one leg?" No, maybe it was because you refused to pour vodka any time but at brunch.