Brad Paisley

Have y'all heard "Ticks," that newish Brad Paisley song? Of course you have — what am I thinking? That dang ol' thing is only played, like, every three or seven minutes. And while it's tuneful enough, there are some fundamental problems with the chorus. First of all, ticks? I'm no Mr. Wizard or anything, but can't you get, like, Lyme disease or something from those buggers? If there was reason to think that the gal had ticks, wouldn't that inspire a greater sense of urgency on our boy Brad's part? So why, then, exactly, does he want to walk his lady friend through a field of wildflowers and then take her way back in the sticks before he checks her for ticks? And in the moonlight? I mean, wouldn't a thorough examination require more adequate lighting? Too many incongruities, too little time. Oh, wait a tick...maybe Paisley's not being literal, and the whole thing's just a ruse to get her in the sack. In that case, wouldn't it be easier to just invite her to a pants-off dance-off at his place? Just sayin'.