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Maloney’s Tavern

The feeling of nostalgia is thick at this new LoDo destination.

You know that scene in The Mask where Jim Carrey and Cameron Diaz are swing-dancing to the rumbling tom-tom beat of "Hey Pachuco," the song by Royal Crown Revue? Well, that clip was showing on a bunch of TVs at Maloney's Tavern (1432 Market Street), which had its grand opening last week. About twenty minutes earlier, there'd been a clip from another Carrey flick, the one with the boob jokes. And then Robert Palmer's "Simply Irresistible" started blaring through the place, followed by Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" and a bunch of other tunes most people know by heart.

Maloney's has a DJ booth right by the front door, and the music he plays on the iMac — along with the film clips, movie posters and hundreds of photos of pop icons that fill the new watering hole — is intended to conjure up fond memories, according to Oliver Badgio, Maloney's director of development.

As I looked at the Woody Allen picture above me, I thought of my dad. He'd taken me to see Sleeper at the Ogden Theatre in the early '70s, back when it showed flicks. I fell asleep halfway through, and it wasn't until nearly two decades later, after he passed away, that I finally the saw the film in its entirety — as part of my own Allen marathon, when I watched every single film he'd directed. Near the photo of Allen was one of Jacqueline Bisset. But I'm not going to get into the effect her role as the hot mom who seduces her son's friend in Class had on me when I was a teenager.

While I was watching The Mask clip, I'd thought about this gal who bartends at my favorite bar in New York City — the Holiday Cocktail Lounge. She'd dated Peter Greene (the actor who plays thug Dorian Tyrell in the film) before he moved out to Los Angeles and jump-started his career with a bit role in Pulp Fiction. The owner of the Holiday supposedly loaned Greene $500 to move to California; if I remember correctly, he never got his money back. After The Mask, Greene went on to make quite a career out of playing thugs and junkies.

Maloney's worked its nostalgia magic on me. And obviously, I'm not the only one, because the Denver location — which occupies the former home of Tommy Tsunami — is the seventh spot to open since the chain got its start in Arizona in 1991. If things go well downtown, Badgio says Maloney's might expand to Cherry Creek and the Denver Tech Center.


Club scout: In the alley between Market and Larimer streets, you'll find Bill Ward's slip of a bar, Slim 7 (1443 Larimer). And off a narrow walkway on the other side of Larimer, he's now opened Below, right next to his new Pie Hole. The two underground spots at 1442 Larimer are about as yin-and-yang as it gets: Pie Hole is the brightly lit, sparsely furnished late-night pizza joint, while Below is the sinful goth lair. The tricky part is finding either of them; best bet is to enter the alley behind Comedy Works (1226 15th Street) and head toward the doorman in the courtyard.

Congratulations to bartender Rich "Nacho Biznezz" Ewing, brother/partner of Scottie Ewing, owner of the Sugar House (1395 West Alameda Avenue), for winning the local Finlandia Vodka Cup, held November 5 at Martini Ranch (1317 14th Street). Ewing beat eleven other bartenders who were judged on art, style and craft while creating three cocktails: an aperitif, a long drink and an after-dinner drink. Ewing will be flown to Finland to compete against other winners from the United States; the American winner then goes up against bartenders from 25 countries in the tenth annual International Finlandia Vodka Cup.

DJ Uplifter just started a weekly reggae and dancehall night on Fridays at the Mystery Night Club (753 Santa Fe Drive). There's no cover before 10 p.m., and after that it's $5 — but the first drink is free. Finally, the club up north that's been known as La Maravilla for the last decade has changed its name to Oceans. While the 800-person venue at 13015 County Road 16 (a mile north of Highway 85 in Fort Lupton) is switching to country music Wednesdays through Fridays, it will continue to have Mexican dances on Saturdays.

 
  • Dave 03/27/2008 11:01:00 PM

    Been there a bunch of times, all for different occasions.....Overall D+, this is your place if you want the chance to meet the lower-than-average-intelligence crowd with better-than-average looks, while "Come On Eileen" blasts your senses atleast 2x in a night. Ex Frat guy or suburbia white trash heaven, terrible sports bar, terrible food. Sort of depends on the night of the weekend and what you are in the mood for. 1. B- Day after grand opening to try the wings and atmosphere. Friday I think. Wings weren't offensive, big beers were nice, the place was empty, nice enough/cute enough waitresses. Had to haggle with tvmaster to get our game on, after them insisting it wasn't on. 2. B Entertaining friends from the Midwest on a Saturday night. B Overall that experience wasn't too bad since we didn't eat and watched the Steelers game. Cute, moronic, ironic-T-shirt-wearing girls a'plenty so my meathead/frat buddies had a great time. Discovered that drinks are as expensive as any club and ended up with $600 bar tab. Exit song "Come On Eileen". 3. D Met friends after work at Pour House, then convinced to give Maloney's another try. Wow, music is the same frat house music from '92, beers were warm and expensive, appetizers screaming middle of the road Sysco food service. I discovered this is the new suburb hangout for people that commute from outside the city on a Friday night. The terms douchebag and britney spears comes to mind. I think they even played a Britney song. Exit song " Come on Eileen", I told my friend if I ever had to go there again and "Come On Eileen" played, I'd stab him in the throat, then do the same to myself. 4. F(fail) Before NCAA games at Pepsi Center, due to convenience sake I was conned into stopping here. Let me set the scene---> High end sports bar, 43 satellites, 50 big screen tvs, NCAA tourney time with 5 games on simultaneously. We walked in and it took 30 minutes to convince them they should play more than 1 game across the whole place. I was polite to the waitress, who listened to my story about the NCAA tournament and how fun it is to watch all the exciting games at one time..(crickets)..(deer in headlights)... "Ok, I'll check on that right away"- girl. Then the march to the tvmaster stand, who was indifferent but said they will get right on it. End result : 4 games being televised, they only had 2 on. Not only did the employees not give a damn, the rest of the self involved crowd was indifferent as well. Tried the quesadillas, which were, go figure, bland Sysco food service 'dillas. We escaped before "Come On Eileen" started playing, so I am thankful to be alive to tell this story today.

 

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