By Joel Warner
By Michael Roberts
By Alan Prendergast
By Michael Roberts
By Michael Roberts
By Amber Taufen
By Patricia Calhoun
By William Breathes
I'm a Starkey grad living in the Denver area. I read Joel Warner's "At Your Disservice" in the August 9 issue and was impressed that Mary Louise Starkey was quite fairly dealt with. Although her actions weren't acceptable, her motivation and creation of a program to professionalize home management were honored.
I was disappointed to see the photo used for last week's follow-up article. I'm sure it was to drive home the point that she was concerned about others' appearances when she, herself, wasn't always at her best. The fact that her face is scarred and she isn't very naturally photogenic was a bit of a low hit. There are plenty of actions of Starkey's to question, but basic appearance is more a matter of fate than choice.
I truly wish she had stepped out of a position of power years ago. It certainly was suggested to her by many people. Now, not only is she suffering, but those of us who might care to use our credentials for employment are somewhat disadvantaged.
I can sum up the entire Starkey debacle with one word: "Schadenfreude."
Name withheld on request
It figures. I had all but given up on finding the perfect mix of high-cholesterol foods and ejaculatory fluids when out comes Jason Sheehan's review of the Corner Office. Reading this was a strange blend of sensations and emotions, which I will now attempt to extract from my still-reeling mind. First, the review actually made me gain weight, not just because I was gorging myself on pretzels and OJ as I read it, but more because each piece of food reviewed would probably give my ass that much-coveted cottage-cheese texture. Second, I noticed a painful burning in my nostrils that I can only attribute to laughter so powerful that I snarfed said pretzels and OJ onto the paper as I read. Finally, and most peculiar, was the overwhelming urge to simultaneously buy an SUV, handcuff a Taiwanese prostitute to my radiator and stock up on Pepto-Bismol for the digestive fallout — all of which would probably help me fit in at the Corner Office.
Jason is clearly at his best when he is throwing out punchlines rather than praises — a fact glaringly shown in his scathing but funny review of Mama's Cafe ("Night Hawks," November 8), a place that any sober person would recognize as a shitty little all-nighter just by looking at it — but here he hands out both positive and negative criticisms with an even hand. Jason has done an admirable job of piquing my interest in a dining establishment I might have otherwise skipped over in my quest to avoid coke-snorting business executives, and I certainly plan on investigating the Corner Office as soon as Liu Ming's new handcuffs arrive.
Honestly, you can't leave those Taiwanese prostitutes unshackled for a minute.
Letters About "Mr. Wizard," Jason Sheehan, October 25
In his response to my November 1 letter, Richard Hart missed the point of the quote (from a two-year-old review) that I included in my praise of Jason Sheehan's writing style. The passage was not a diatribe, as Hart charged, but simply a bit of satire that I cited as an example of Sheehan's sense of humor. If Hart has read other Sheehan reviews, he should know that.
Mr. Hart omitted this essential part of the quoted passage: "and when the Grim Reaper sneaks up on you 198 years from now and your friends find you face-down in your Grape Nuts, they'll ask, 'How did that happen?' He looked so healthy.'" Grim Reaper? Sneak up on you? One hundred and ninety-eight years from now? Face-down in your Grape Nuts? Does that sound like a diatribe? Does it sound like anything except goofy, funny remarks?
In fact, it was my choice to include it, not Sheehan's. It has nothing to do with O's restaurant and its emphasis on molecular gastronomy and cooking with liquid nitrogen. In his review, Sheehan was definitely not referring to people with serious health concerns who need to be selective about their diets or any related environmental matters that might affect them.
Hart also wrote that "...another person's lifestyle that does not affect me is the least of my concerns." It seems that the lifestyle of a letter writer (me) who enjoyed the humor of a restaurant reviewer (Sheehan's) did indeed affect him. As the cliche goes, Richard should "lighten up."
I have Google alerts for Tom Waits and enjoyed Jon Solomon's column on Whiskey Dick's. Not only for the Tom Waits reference, but because I just drove 22 nearly straight hours from Columbus, Ohio, to Tabernash with six Tom Waits CDs revolving in the trunk and the jacket that he sold through the ACLU on eBay riding shotgun. It was a great drive with Waits, he being more than appropriate for a sprint through the Midwest in November. I will say, I started to lose my sense of humor somewhat when "Falling Down" came on as I started up U.S. 40 through the pass from Denver.