By Brian Turk
By Drew AIles
By Taylor Boylston
By Bree Davies
By Emerald O'Brien
By Gina Tron
By Jon Solomon
Why has the Hate Fuck Trio been largely inactive for most of this millennium? Jon and Sam DeStefano, the sibling tandem behind one of the best Denver bands of the '90s, aren't telling — or rather, they are, but their responses in advance of their upcoming reunion date are highly (and entertainingly) suspect. For instance, Sam insists that the combo spent three years in Costa Rica studying the "gigantic banana spider" with the goal of "harnessing its venom to develop a product for the American culture that was a thousand times more powerful than Viagra."
Sadly, this noble cause remains unrealized — much like the Trio's efforts to duplicate their Colorado popularity nationwide. Mid-'90s releases such as You Know, for Kids and the Sinatra-centric EP Ol' Blue Eyes won release by Seattle's Shaky Records, but a subsequent deal with Honest Don's, a branch of Fat Wreck Chords, came to naught, and 2000's Good Songs to Fuck to, distributed by a branch of San Diego's Cargo imprint, failed to significantly expand the outfit's following. So the players turned to domesticity, albeit with a unique Hate Fuck twist.
"My son is three and a half, and I've said 'fuck' in front of him more times than I've said the words 'the' and 'a,'" Sam boasts. As a result, he's expecting to someday get a call from his spawn's preschool teacher, and if she complains about being F-bombed, "I'll tell her that the letter 'f' and the letter 'u' and the letter 'c' and the letter 'k' are all letters she's been teaching my child, and if she can't handle the way he's putting them together, maybe she shouldn't fucking be a teacher."
Until then, the DeStefanos are working over unreleased Trio tunes — one favorite may or may not be called "Scott Hamilton's Shaved Cock" — with an eye toward a possible CD release in early 2008. In addition, Jon is busy creating intriguing cut-and-paste recordings under the name Chewbacca Bukkake, and he's already got an idea for a video-game tie-in. "It's kind of like Grand Theft Auto," he notes. "Basically, Chewbaccas go around the city and they bukkake cars and cats and grandmas. And the more they bukkake, the more respect they get from other Chewbaccans." He suspects that he'll receive a cease-and-desist threat from George Lucas before long, "but it'd just be nice to talk to Lucas. It's not like that happens every day."
Neither does a Hate Fuck Trio gig — so the DeStefanos have been gearing up. "We're trying to rehearse just enough to make it more of a mess," Sam promises. With a little effort, he feels confident they can produce "one of the worst, most embarrassing Hate Fuck Trio shows of all time."
That's probably a joke. Then again, maybe not.
Visit Backbeat Online for more of our interview with Jon and Sam DeStefano of the Hate Fuck Trio.