Jack Johnson

Jack Johnson would undoubtedly make a wonderful dinner companion. Unlike the average rock star, who might well break the good china, wipe his face on the curtains, call your mom the C-word and violate your Pomeranian, he'd be charming and kind even if he found out you use environmentally unfriendly light bulbs. But niceness doesn't translate to interesting music on Sleep Through the Static, an album snoozy enough to put Ambien out of business.

Johnson's more serious this time around. For instance, the title track boldly suggests that the war in Iraq might not have been the best idea via rhetorical questions such as "Who needs please when we've got guns?" But as this line indicates, Johnson's lyrics are just too darn polite to make much of an impact, whether he's warbling about life-and-death issues or banana pancakes, and the blandly strummy music follows suit. The likes of "Same Girl" couldn't even make George curious.

Better play something else when Johnson comes over for dinner. Wouldn't want anyone nodding off in the soup.