Reports that a soldier was beaten to death late last week just because he played Jimmy Buffett's "Margaritaville" on a jukebox in the Tap House Sports Grill in Steamboat Springs sounded preposterous — until we caught Vanilla Ice's halftime performance during the January 3 Denver Nuggets game. Those mind-numbingly catchy, unbelievably annoying songs were almost enough to drive us to violence.
And there are other repeat offenders out there besides "Margaritaville" and "Ice Ice Baby." We've seen a jukebox cord yanked out of the wall over another Buffett classic, "Cheeseburger in Paradise," and a whole bar go silent after a man threatened the life of whoever had played George Strait's "All My Exes Live in Texas."
Herewith a list of ten other jukebox favorites that could have you cruising for a bruising:
Chopper down: Channels 7 and 9 each use their own helicopter to gather news around Colorado, but news about the copters themselves got out a little early this week when the Rocky Mountain News mistakenly ran a short story online saying the two stations planned to share one whirlybird. The info came from a Channel 7 press release sent out on December 30 to other local media outlets and was immediately retracted: Apparently, the deal may still take place but hasn't taken off yet. To read more about this story and other media machinations, log on to the More Messages section at blogs.westword.com/latest word.
Scene and herd: Leave it to the Smoking Gun, and the camera of a nearby skier, to spot a moment of utter embarrassment and hilarity at Vail last Friday. As reported on the Smoking Gun website — and quickly spread through cyberspace — a man was boarding the high-speed lift at Vail's Blue Sky Basin with his son when the seat failed to fold down all the way and the man slipped through the crack. His ski lodged in the chair, and he was left dangling upside down for fifteen minutes.
Oh, and for some reason, his pants fell down — or rather up — leaving him entirely exposed to the elements and other skiers. Poor fellow. Maybe he'll take Vail to court and, ahem, sue the pants off the resort. (To see just how much injury his reputation — and other parts — suffered, log on to blogs.westword.com.)
And that's not the only fun to be found on www.thesmokinggun.com, which also has the mug shot and police report for Charles Barkley, the loquacious NBA analyst and former player who was charged with a DUI last week in Phoenix. Barkley told police he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to get a "blow job." Sir Charles also offered to have the officer's name tattooed on his ass if he let him off the hook.
Barkley probably won't be in such a rush when he comes to Denver on Tuesday, January 13, to speak at the Wells Fargo Theater as part of the Insight Speakers Series. For more on that, turn to our Night + Day section.