"I'm not totally positive but I'm quite sure the Westword ignored the public conversation surrounding my Ladies' Night complaint and subsequent charge of discrimination....

"Now, the only reason I find myself writing to you today is that I was paging through Westword while waiting for a haircut the other day and through my unflinching optimism, I know, down deep, you're really interested in what's going on with me and Ladies' Night and why I've worked so hard at being successful at shutting it down in several other states. However, I know it would be a waste of my time to explain my motives in a logical fashion because even though you feign pain and injury over social discrimination, I know you couldn't care less about the civil rights of a bold, testosterone-laden he-man like me having my civil rights ripped out from beneath me. So, I'll simply try to piss you off and tell you what's next on the agenda with the Ladies' Night issue. It's gonna be fun..."

You asked for it, you got it.

I finally met with Horner a month or so after I received his charming missive, and took him to a bar that he later filed suit against. It was amazing to watch him start discussing what, yes, on the surface appears to be a mild injustice — women drinking free because bar owners realize that what men want to see in bars is women, preferably liquored-up women — and then blow it up into the cause of just about every social ill in the world. Ladies' nights lead to homelessness lead to terrorism.

And the people who open the mail at the Division of Civil Rights have got to be feeling a little terrorized right now.

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