Are you Westword's new pot critic?

"Why is medical marijuana important to me? It has not only saved my life, but it has given me back the person I was before my life-changing accident. Cannabis allows me to work through my pain, and not be consumed by it. It gives me life, and it gave me my life back. To say marijuana is important to me is an understatement; marijuana has given me my life back. Marijuana isn't just important to me, it is my life."

"Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! Okay, so you would have had to been really high in 1978 at a drive-in to really appreciate this movie. I am a high functioning stoner — for the last thirty years. I do have a rare medical condition that can cause a lot of pain. I have a medical marijuana card. I am your pot smoking connoisseur with impeccable credentials for this Westword feature. I am a published writer. My alma mater is Metropolitan State and I was lucky enough to be an adjunct professor there....(I think — just kidding — what was I talking about? Professor Ashley Roachclip? Cheech and Chong....google that sketch.) Stoner humor..."

Ready to turn over a new leaf as a medical marijuana reviewer?

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Medical Marijuana for Wellness

1240 S. Parker Road
Denver, CO 80231

Category: Closed

Region: Southeast Denver

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More About

• Sal Aunese
• Bill McCartney
• University of Colorado
• Psychoactive Drugs
• Medical Marijuana

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"With the blessing of the People of the State of Colorado, I may now be a (legal) stoner. I was not the first, nor the last. There will be many tens of thousands who will take the same path. At some point in the near future it will simply be untenable to ignore the status quo. When dispensaries become as common as dry cleaners, people will then see that the sky isn't falling or the wheels are not coming off. They will start asking questions and challenging assumptions. Maybe you can smoke pot and hold a professional job. Maybe it really doesn't make you lazy. Maybe someday we might even be able to have an honest public discussion on it. I feel the winds of change blowing in, and when the dust settles I like what I see. P.S. If I have wasted your time, or you feel dumber for having ready my essay, my apologies in advance. I was medicated."

And finally, this from a poet who's smoked pot in Amsterdam — but unfortunately, for our purposes, lives in California: "Have you ever asked yourself what you mean to marijuana? In the trenches of our uphill battle against freeing this botanical miracle, marijuana herself knows that in the greenest of her hearts, that she and the fight to free her is an act of humanity. It's the people that drive the fight. They spread the wisdom. They discredit the old myths such as 'Reefer Madness' and trumpet our triumphs like our holy statistic of zero deaths. I say our, because it belongs to you and it belongs to me. And in this war of will, intellect and stoner resolve, we all need allies. The chosen allies now are the noble and licensed dispensary runners who bring us our medicine, our high, our privilege in a legal template. Setting the course for our ultimate goal of decrim and legalese. We are all in this together. Our Plant. Our Love. Our Fight."

Our job. We'll publish other essays on the Latest Word blog over the next week — and then reveal the result of our very special joint-operating agreement (perhaps the only new job in journalism created over the past year, which helps explain all the attention) sometime mid-month.

Now exhale.