If anyone's going to represent your city, you want it to be a 'roided-up convict who was catapulted to fame by court order. Chapman got his start on Denver's Bail Bonds Row after he told a judge he couldn't afford his child support. Because he looks like Hulk Hogan after a really awesome coke bender, the judge figured Chapman might have success reeling in a fugitive. The rest is history — history that everyone but three guys at A&E and Dog's nutritionist want to forget, but history, nonetheless.
You try to forget them, you really do. But you can't get hammered and bite into a half-frozen burrito on Market Street without staring longingly at their former house, which is now a swank bar called Thëorie — which is great, because there hasn't been an actual theory hatched on The Real World since 1995. And while your friends hold you upright outside the Cowboy Lounge, you can't help but wonder what would have been had your LoDo phase overlapped with theirs. Would you have knocked up Brooke? Been accused of rape by Jenn? Drunkenly made out with Davis, only to spend the next several months threatening the MTV legal department with various torts in an effort to get your face blurred from the telecast? We'll never know. And that, friends, is a cryin' shame.