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In mourning over a meal at Mark & Isabella

I was out eating when I heard that my father had died. Drinking, actually. But the place where I was — standing on a patio in a warm rain at ten o'clock at night, surrounded by new friends, a stiff whiskey in my hand — served food, too, and nothing important that has happened to me since I was fifteen years old has happened in the calm and quiet that important moments probably deserve. Food and booze and restaurants and bars and kitchens have been at the center of everything for as long as I can remember — the hot, wet, steaming, vital core of my every experience. Eating. Drinking. Cooking. Standing on the dock with a cigarette in my hand and my boys arrayed around me.

The patio at Mark & Isabella looks lonely. With good reason, it turns out.
mark manger
The patio at Mark & Isabella looks lonely. With good reason, it turns out.

Details

Mark & Isabella
Caprese salad $7.95
Grana padano $6.95
Prosciutto and melon $9.95
Swordfish $16.95
Spaghetti and meatballs $14.95
Izzy's meatballs $15.25
Chicken parm $11.25
Closed Location
303-934-7800
Hours: Lunch and dinner, daily

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I was on a plane within hours, and don't remember the flight at all. I spent the next ten days in Rochester, folded back into a life and a lifestyle that was like stepping back into a shed skin — familiar, if a bit small and tattered. The first thing my mom did was try to feed me. People had been bringing food all morning and the fridge was already full, as were the counters and the coffee table. She'd begun using the oven as overflow storage — packing it with pastries and loaves of handmade banana bread and rolls and trays of cookies. The first thing my brother did was press a drink into my hand: Jameson whiskey that, forever after, will taste like grief to me.

We never stopped eating. We never stopped drinking. I would have a glass of whiskey in front of me by 11 a.m., and the sandwiches weren't far behind. One friend made sausage and peppers, the best I've ever tasted; another delivered chicken French and beans and greens; a third pulled pork and mashed potatoes. And we also went to restaurants — more than I can count. Cheeseburgers with hot sauce from a stand that I love; salami and prosciutto at an Italian deli down the street. We went out for rustic aged-dough pizzas done by a friend of my brother's who runs a restaurant downtown; drank my dad's favorite beer. On our way to pick up suits for the service, my brother and I discussed food and restaurants, planned for pho and roast duck and more cheeseburgers. Food was what we talked about when we couldn't talk about Dad. On our way out again, passing like barely recovered trauma patients through the thin crowds of weekday shoppers, I said to him, "I can't believe we just bought the ties we'll be wearing to our father's funeral," and then neither of us said anything for a little while.

I came back to Denver, shattered. My mom and brother and I had planned to get back together soon, two, maybe three weeks later, after we'd all settled back into work and a life, minus. They would come out to Colorado to visit, to get away from Rochester, to take a break. I picked them up at the airport, and they weren't on the ground an hour before we were back at a restaurant — pho and Vietnamese coffee to take the edge off of traveling — and then on to Marczyk's for survival rations. The next day, we had breakfast at the West End Tavern in Boulder, on our way up to Rocky Mountain National Park because my father had always loved the mountains — so now someone had to appreciate them in his absence. We ate and we drank, because that's what people do when something awful and incomprehensible has happened, feeding the body and hoping that the more esoteric parts of ourselves will somehow recover from their terrible wounds in the meantime. We eat, sometimes, just to keep the body going while the heart convalesces.

Dinner was my choice — to my eternal regret. We'd run through some options, but everything seemed too fancy or too relaxed or too dodgy. So we settled on Italian, because Italian is where we tend to settle when not everyone wants sushi or soul food or pie. And we settled on Mark & Isabella because it seemed to fit the bill: neither too formal nor too casual. And more to the point, it's run by Mark Tarbell, and across a dozen or more meals, I'd never been disappointed by his first Colorado restaurant, the Oven. Mark & Isabella, which opened this past January in the space once occupied by Chama, just a block from the Oven in Belmar, is Tarbell's Italian-American restaurant: family food and comfort food and everything "passionately prepared by hand," according to the website. "Should be good," I told my brother. "This guy, he's a good guy."

From the outside, with the sun just set and a winter chill in the air, Mark & Isabella was beautiful, with a patio fire going and light spilling out onto the sidewalk. Amid the scattering of two- and four-tops inside, tables were rearranged for our odd number (five of us, along one of the curving banquettes) and menus were distributed.

Mark & Isabella's menu features classics from the Italian-American canon. Spaghetti and meatballs, lasagna and hand-cut pappardelle with a solid ragu. There are a few slight departures — french fries dusted with parmesan cheese grated soft as snow, panko-breaded mozzarella sticks, gazpacho and burgers — but the overwhelming thrust is East Coast Italian, street-corner Italian, neighborhood Italian, with an emphasis on big portions and lots of apps. Some of the entrees have names: "Izzy's Meatballs" and "Marco's Baked Ziti." That caused some concern. I've long theorized that a restaurant that names its plates or in some way identifies them as more than simply "meatballs" or "ziti" is trying to pull something. Unless Izzy and Marco are in the back, I'm not interested. And even then, I'm not all that interested: What I wanted were Mark Tarbell's meatballs and ziti.

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  • 11/17/2011 11:08:00 PM

    Great, very personal review! I remember when my Father passed away. It was almost three years ago. My husband and I took my Mother to the best bakery in Warsaw, Poland and over-ordered the largest, the sweetest and the best looking cakes they had. Thankfully, we were pleased with the presentation and the taste. It really helped. Thank you for sharing your experience.

  • Danno 10/26/2009 10:15:00 PM

    Jason (it seem appropriate to use your first name because I feel like I know you through your columns), my sincerest condolences on the passing of your father. In a weird way, this might be the "best" review of yours that I have read. People who want boring, dispassionate reviews might feel that you have overstepped some line, but I appreciate that you always provide a window into your experiences. I don't give a damn if it was "fair" or not based on someone else's criteria, you described your experience and you described what you seek out of a restaurant, and that's all I can ask. I have no doubt that had the restaurant provided an excellent meal, you would have written a transcendent review. So in that sense, your review is faithful to what you do. Keep up the excellent work.

  • Chaz 10/26/2009 5:52:00 AM

    I was recently dined at this restaurant. Other than the lemon chicken dish being not at all what I envisioned (flat, dry grilled breast with harsh seasonings), I thought the rest of the food was very good. The alfredo dish was delicious and I'm normally not a big fan of alfredo pasta. The marscapone cheesecake was fabulous. The servers were extremely attentive and helpful. I would imagine that grief can color any dining experience with a shade of the negative and slamming a restaurant in such a way isn't all that productive to you or it. Perhaps a return visit will be better. I hope so.

  • Hindsight 10/25/2009 12:29:00 AM

    Yo Jen, the review came out on the 20th. Your comments simply show that the review did some good. They were on their toes within 48 hours.

  • Reader 10/24/2009 2:44:00 AM

    Jason, may your heart heal quickly. In reading the comments after your review I see where the owner of Mark & Isabella is taking this as a swift kick in the rear and plan to learn and grow. Good on him and I hope he and his crew succeed!

  • Foodie 10/24/2009 2:19:00 AM

    Jason, I am so terribly sorry for your loss and hope that in time, the grief will fade and replaced with happy memories of your relationship with your Father. Regarding your review: Up until a couple of months ago, we experienced the same dining fiasco(s) at Mark & Isabella. From the day it opened, to giving it a 2nd chance, 3rd chance and 4th chance in monthly to six week interims. We then gave up until the first week in September when we decided to give it one more try and thoroughly enjoyed the food and so much so, returned the following week to treat out of town guests. We truly hope Mark & Isabellas continues to improve -- Lakewood is lacking good restaurants (for the exception of the Oven which is great) and 240 Union which is trying to get back to it's old standards. Take care!

  • Jen 10/23/2009 10:01:00 PM

    I was in Mark & Isabella's for the first time last night and I don't know who this critic is but his long review first of all was way too personal and secondly was incorrect. My party and I were treated like queens by all the staff and everything we tried was wonderful. Cheese sticks, toamto soup, BLT's, grilled cheese, fried cheese, proscuitto and meatballs. I especially liked the grilled cheese because it had a unique flavor that I can't place because I'm not a chef. I highly recommend this restaurant to those of you who are not mourning the loss of a loved one. How can you have anything be good in that state of mind? Hmmmmm...

  • Jim Gallen 10/23/2009 9:43:00 PM

    Jason, I am deeply sorry for your loss, I can only imagine your pain. However I do feel that the manner in which you framed your criticisms took away from any positive impact they may have had for either the restaurant or your readers. The beating you gave the staff there just didn't ring of just one bad meal. Again I am truly sorry for your loss and hope time heals your pain. Jim

  • Ed 10/23/2009 1:07:00 AM

    Sorry for your lose but this was a messed up review. It's unfair and uncool to associate this place with you father's death. I don't feel like I got any idea of what this place is like from this piece. How many words do I have to go through to get to the food? Half the article? I'm getting in the habit of skipping the first couple columns cause I want the actual review.

  • Len 10/22/2009 11:24:00 PM

    I had to read you several times before I could come out of a daze and tell you how wonderful a person your dad must have been and try to tell you that every year from now it will bring a bigger and bigger smile to your face when you raise a glass to him and remember. I'm so damned sorry Jason. Give your family my heart and sympathy.

  • Mark Tarbell 10/22/2009 9:04:00 PM

    I want to express my deepest sympathies to you and your family for the loss of your father. Having recently lost my father and best friend, I understand the complex and ever changing emotions that you must be going through on daily basis. I also apologize to you and your family for adding to your grief for having what appeared to be a disaster of an experience at Mark & Isabella. What you had hoped to get out of your dining experience is exactly what we work to provide. I respect you and your writing and always have. I will not dispute any of your impressions. My staff and I have looked at your food comments and have drawn from them positive change. Mark Tarbell

  • Brooke 10/21/2009 10:15:00 PM

    I read your book and found it interesting, entertaining, and funny. It also makes me all the more sad to hear of your fathers passing, I am so sorry. I would also like to commend you on the last section of this piece it is something that I have often pondered when walking out of a restaurant after an awful experience.

  • QM 10/21/2009 9:05:00 PM

    Good review. And to those who would say "well, that's not fair because the reviewer was grieving"...go fuck yourself. When food is so bad that it can distract you from your grief, that says alot. Also, to the reviewer; that new tie and the Jameson's are now profoundly important occasion requirements. The jacket I wore to bury my father is the same one I wear to only the most important occasions. And because Jameson is the only thing I drank at his wake, I've toasted wedded couples, graduating seniors, job promotions, and the births of babies with it. The traditions you start are important. Sometimes its all that's left of you to remember after you're gone.

  • Tryna 10/21/2009 8:18:00 PM

    Jason- I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. Since you do share a part of yourself in your reviews, I know he was a huge part of your life and very much loved. Please take care of yourself and go to Osteria Marco to take the edge off.

 
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