You Boob, You Lose

Lucy the Slut has lots of cleavage. Lucy the Slut has pink skin and blond hair. Lucy the Slut is a puppet. In February, the Colorado Springs outlet of Lamar Advertising rejected a billboard for the Broadway musical Avenue Q, which would have shown a lot of Lucy. "If I have to explain it to my four-year-old or my grandmother, we don't put it up," Lamar account exec Jeff Moore told the Gazette.

Andrew "Ted" Yosses was expecting a striptease when he let two women into his Fort Collins apartment in January. Instead, he was robbed, tied up and punched in the face by a man working with the women, according to reports. Police eventually arrested and charged Hector Cruz, Audrey Aguilar and Bernadette Hamby in the case.

At least thirty people took part in the No Pants! Subway Ride in January, wearing only their underwear while they rode a Denver light-rail train. The prank was part of a nationwide flash mob that originated in New York and now takes place every year.

It's a $2.5 million mobile command post that Denver International Airport uses for everything from runway emergencies to repairing bridges. But an airport employee and the Denver firefighter she liked to hook up with probably liked to think of it as their Love Machine. In November, DIA officials admitted to CBS4 that the two had been using the state-of-the-art truck for sex while they were on the job; the veteran firefighter, who was stationed at DIA, has since resigned, while the airport worker was fired. The liaisons were discovered because their "sex romps," as CBS4 called them, were captured by a motion-activated camera — just one of many, er, slick high-tech gadgets on board the truck.

The Denver area got its first glimpse of the bikini-baristas craze in 2010 when three different stores opened in the area. The first of these, Perky Cups in Aurora, was forced to close after a dispute with the landlord that may or may not have had to do with baristas parading around the parking lot in next to nothing. The sight prompted Aurora City Councilwoman Molly Markert to call for a boycott of Perky Cups, saying, "When one of [the] employees is raped and murdered, we will all mourn the loss."

There's nothing like the feeling of sunshine on your back when you're tending to the flowers in your garden. Nothing like feeling sunshine on your back — or on your naked boobs. Boulder's Catharine Pierce, 52, knows that feeling. She's been asked twice now to stop gardening nearly naked, according to news reports. The first time was in 2009, when Pierce wore just pasties and a thong — a horticultural costume that nearly got her evicted. The second time was this past March, when she abandoned the pasties altogether. Neighbors called police, and when a cop arrived, he asked her to think about putting on a shirt, since there is a school nearby. At that point, Pierce's husband, Robert, called the police himself to complain about the first officer. After all, being topless in Boulder isn't against the law.

The Plane Truth

Alan Houston Johnson caused a scene on a Chicago-to-Denver flight in February by fondling two flight attendants and a passenger, according to police. The female flight attendants said that Johnson, who lived in North Carolina, had grabbed their butts multiple times. A third woman said Johnson had tried to dry-hump her against the bathroom door.

Gregory Thomas Burns thought the plane was still on the tarmac when he reportedly tried to open the emergency door to get out. It wasn't, and the 33-year-old New York man had to be restrained by fellow passengers. Burns told investigators he'd been drinking at Dulles International Airport and then thought he'd gotten on the wrong flight. And in a way, he had: After the altercation, the plane was diverted to Denver, where Burns was arrested.

A man flying Southwest Airlines from Philadelphia to Denver got into trouble in March when another passenger claimed he was masturbating beneath a blanket. "You caught me," he reportedly told her. Murali Krishna Nookella was arrested when the plane touched down: That kind of behavior just doesn't fly.

In January, Muhammad Abu Tahir, 47, was traveling from Atlanta to San Francisco when he "became upset and disruptive after flight attendants refused to serve him additional alcoholic drinks," according to arrest records; they apparently thought five mini wine bottles was enough. Refused more alcohol, Tahir locked himself in the bathroom, opening the door twice — once to put his shoes and socks outside, and again to reveal that he was shaving without his shirt on. Concerned by this bizarre behavior, the pilot decided to land in Colorado Springs, where Tahir was arrested.

On a November flight from Los Angeles to Denver, Brian Robert Dougal reclined his seat with the intention of going to sleep. But when he did, the passenger sitting behind him, Tom Zelenovic, bumped the seat, according to court records, saying, "Are you serious? My knees are up against the seat." Dougal reportedly turned and told Zelenovic that his knees were against the seat in front of him, too, and suggested that he move to an empty seat next to him. Zelenovic responded that he'd paid for his current seat and then "shook the back of Dougal's seat and grabbed Dougal's right ear and yanked it." Upon his arrival in Denver, Zelenovic was charged with assault.

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