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The Spanish for Adam and other biblical names

Dear Mexican: Just suppose that all of the southwestern United States had remained in Mexican hands. Would the Mexicans have done any better with it than they have with the present confines of Mexico?

Reversible Reconquista?

Dear Gabacho: The gran parlor game! If we turned back the clock and changed a couple of things — if Austin, Houston and their fellow invading gabachos actually became Mexican citizens respecting the rule of the land instead of merely pretending to become so, if Mexico hadn't suffered the theft of its lands or nearly gone bankrupt spending so much money in battling its ravenous neighbor to the north — would Mexico have been better off? The easy answer is — more land in a country generally means more possibilities for development, and California's 1849 Gold Rush (which truly made the American Southwest the mecca it became for Americans) would've happened on Mexican soil, meaning Mexico would've been the beneficiary of all those prospecting migrants and subsequent worldwide attention. Not having Texas secede from Mexico would've also hastened the demise of Antonio López de Santa Anna; sure, his embarrassing defeat at the manos of the Texicans forced him out of office, but he returned again and again. Santa Anna's megalomania, left unchecked, would've inspired a true coup instead of many temporary ones. And with no neo-colonial ties left — with no debts to any European powers due to fighting so many wars, with no appropriating of natural resources and lands by American industrialists taking advantage of a weak country, and with the United States itself weaker due to the lack of a Southwest and all of its subsequent treasures — Mexico would've been in a much stronger position to enter the Industrial Revolution and emerge a better, reformed land. Of course, it's just a parlor game, just like Arizona senator John McCain blaming illegal Mexicans for starting devastating forest fires with no hard proof — except ours is responsible and fun, while his is just pendejo.

Dear Mexican: I know many Mexican names translate to English — Michael is Miguel, Juan is John, and so forth. Mexican names seem rooted in the Bible in general (everyone knows a Mexican named Jesús with a best buddy named Gabriel, right?). My name is Adam, and I don't know what the Mexican version of Adam is. I think there isn't one. Every time I order at a restaurant and the cashier is Mexican and they ask my name, I check the receipt and it's wrong. They have a hard time pronouncing it, too. I've got receipts back before with Asham, Awarm, Alad, Aman, Aden. Mexicans seem devoutly religious. Do they not read Genesis, or is there a mexicano version of Adam and Eve with different names?

Gabacho y Eva

Dear Gabacho: If you'd bothered to read the Spanish version of Genesis, you'd know that Adam is Adán. Next!

Good Mexican of the Week: The American Immigration Council (AIC) sounds like a creepy front group for Know Nothings, but it's actually the non-profit arm of the American Immigration Lawyers Association, whose members do the Lord's work by helping migrants from across the world enter this great land. The AIC actively fights Know Nothings, honors immigrants year-round, and is publishing Green Card Stories in the fall, a beautiful book featuring the inspiring stories of immigrants who came to los Estados Unidos from across the globe. More information on these mensches at www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org.

 
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13 comments
Anthropod
Anthropod

"whose members do the Lord's work by helping migrants from across the world enter this great land."

And why is America 'great' and Mexico 'not so great', (a giant craphole)?? Because all them GRINGOS made this a great country, and all the parasitic ethnics want to live in the 'magic land of white people', because its filled with Whites. So why don't they speeekee English, if they love us White people so mucho gusto?

Anthropod
Anthropod

Oh, wait, maybe if the French would have stayed, it could have been something... yea, I get that.

Anthropod
Anthropod

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Yes, its because there is too little LAND that Mexico is a craphole, nothing to do with it being filled with uhn, MEXICANS....

So why when Mexicans move to the USA, that those areas quickly become giant crapholes? Take the blinders off Hoze'! Or not, pretty funny.

Diana
Diana

If Austin, Houston and their fellow invading gabachos (thats his cutesy word for honkey)actually became Mexican citizens respecting the rule of the land instead of merely..what???Does this sound familiar? Kind of like the folks pouring in from the south now not respecting the rule of the land..If Mexico hadn't suffered the theft of its lands (that they stole from Native Americans like the European settlers), or nearly gone bankrupt spending so much money in battling its ravenous neighbor to the north — would Mexico have been better off? Typical, blame all of your problems on America, who would expect different from you?

 
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