Kaufman finds bank deposit slips and at least four half-full packs of menthol cigarettes. He finds an envelope from a place called P & B Customs in Florida. And he finds five empty tubes of the exact type of chemicals the ex-wife feared they'd uncover.

"Lookie, lookie!" he says.

By now, trash is strewn all around the can and it's starting to attract the dogs. Packs of them. When a Great Dane moseys over to have a sniff, Collins freezes. "Shaun!" she calls out. He rushes over, stands between her and the dog. She clings to him, her knuckles turning white. The dog pees.

Stop - or Shaun Kaufman and Colleen Collins will shoot.
Anthony Camera
Stop - or Shaun Kaufman and Colleen Collins will shoot.
The couple's book, How to Write a Dick is only available online.
Anthony Camera
The couple's book, How to Write a Dick is only available online.

Collins decides to return to the car while Kaufman takes photos of their haul, including close-ups of the junk food and the chemical containers. He pockets the receipts and the envelope and then shoves the rest of it into the trash can.

A curious dog-walker mistakes him for a good Samaritan. "Y'all must have been the poop fairy today!" she calls out with a big smile. "Yep!" Kaufman answers. "We're good people!" He peels off the gloves and walks away.

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