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Reader: If everyone who had a kinky desire stood up, it would be a revelation for many

"Kink of the Jungle," Jenn Wohletz, September 8

Sex Marks the Spot

I am a pro dominatrix (dominant surrogate) here in the Denver area, and have been for over a decade now. The people who schedule with me are everyday human beings who have very normal lives. They are successful, stable, healthy people who happen to have a fetish or kinky interest — and most of the time, you would never guess it.

Having had thousands of experiences with people in the last decade in the capacity of pro dominatrix, I can honestly say it has been a healthy journey that has been empowering and extremely educational, to say the least. I have found that my fellow human beings are often afraid to admit what they really desire for fear of rejection, and they carry these secrets around like guarded treasure...sometimes for decades. It is very liberating when they are finally able to talk about it without fear of being judged. I have also observed that many people have similar kinky desires that are much more common than many might assume. I happen to believe — based on a great deal of experience — that if everyone who had a kinky desire were to stand up and be counted, it would be a shocking revelation for many.

We live in a very sexually repressed culture even though we are constantly bombarded by sexualized media. People don't open up easily about their sexual secrets. Within the BDSM "realm," people are opening up, and they are finally getting proactive about acknowledging and understanding various aspects of themselves. This is achieved partly through "acting out" in "play" scenarios. This is sexy "play" for adults based on trust and open communication. I wish your article would have touched more on this.

Domina Elle

Denver

This is such a bunch of bullshit, with people going out of their way to act like this is all healthy and fun. It's no different than high-school kids cutting themselves or a deranged person who tries to burn himself and needs to be kept from hurting himself.

Underlying all these "interests" are psychological issues that the person either refuses to or cannot address. If you get off on someone degrading you, it's because you've got a super fucked-up self-image. You need to address that shit, and quit pretending it's "who you are" and letting people take advantage of you. If you're a dom, just because you do it in some controlled environment of "respect" doesn't mean you're not an asshole who gets off on being an asshole. There's loads of these fucks out there humiliating their wives and families, and we call them out for being the assholes they are. Doing it in a club with a willing partner doesn't make YOU any less of a fucked-up asshole. It just means you cause less damage. You're like a sick fuck who joins the military just so he can kill people legally. If you want to inflict pain on anyone, you're a bastard, and just because it might give someone a hard-on doesn't mean it's okay.

You all can do whatever the fuck you want, but don't act like it's some kind of good or great thing.

Troof

Posted at westword.com

Some food for thought: Until 1987, the American Psychological Association (the authority in psychotherapy) regarded homosexuality as a disorder. If you've ever engaged in any sexual activity that wasn't missionary position for the purpose of procreation, then there are very good odds that The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (published by the APA) has something for you. Take care how harshly you judge; you might find it is yourself you are judging.

Duncan

Posted at westword.com

This is the last article I will ever read in Westword. This and other articles are nothing but complete, useless bullshit. Why anyone would give a rat's ass about cross-dressers getting whipped and beaten is beyond me.

There are plenty of worthwhile news stories going on in Denver that people care about and should be written about. Too bad Westword has turned into nothing but gutter trash catering to filthy perverts and people with Jell-O for brains.

Nick

Posted at westword.com

As a nature lover, I appreciated last week's cover story — as much for the clever presentation as for the glimpse of the kind of "wild life" I will never seek out myself. But then, I always appreciate Westword for its willingness to show me sides of life I might never otherwise encounter. Thanks for continuing to provide an alternative.

John Marks

Denver

Editor's note: There's more — lots more — discussion of Jenn Wohletz's "Denver Guide to Wild Life" on westword.com.

"Survivors," Patricia Calhoun, September 8

Parent Trap

This may seem insensitive, but is this girl not aware of Planned Parenthood? Is her brother?

Ryan John Smith

Posted at westword.com

Thank you for continuing to cover the case of Kristen and Will Stillman. I have been haunted by their story since I first read it in Westword last year, and wish only the best for them. It is horrifying, and beyond understanding, what harm people can do to innocent children.

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5 comments
Justaguy
Justaguy

As a single guy, actively dating in Denver, I am constantly amazed at the double standard in regards to sex. One thing I have found, women are a lot more aggressive and sexually active than they like to admitt and are very quick to label men and to judge others. Many times I have had women initiate contact with me, via text or verbal conversation, in direct regards to sex. Yet, these same women jump right into denial when confronted after making degrading comments towards others who have active sex lives. When I have asked women what they are looking for or what their expectations are they unanimouslly admit, "great sex and if a meaningful relationship develops, then great!" Most state that they have, "Been there, done that" meaning, they have either been married once, twice or three times before or have been in long term relationships which just did not work out. Now, "they just want to have to have fun!" They admit they are not looking for anything serious right at the moment, "if sex happens, it happens." One thing about me, I no longer bite my tongue. Several times I have been with a date and amongst friends when I hear degrading comments being directed towards both men and women who have active, healthy sex lives. Many of the degrading comments come from women whom I know have no room to talk! When confronted, the denials begins to fly! My take is that women are very jealous of each other and very quick to judge in order to cover up their own actions. I was talking with a woman one time, whom I met, randomly, off of an internet dating site. We emailed, texted and moved it up to phone calls. Everything seemed to be very calm and going smoothly. In one of her new "profile" pictures I reccognized two other women whom I have never had any type of relationship with other than friendship. Well, when I asked this woman how she knew the other two girls she went on to explain that she was best friends with one of the girls, "for like ever!" I explained how I knew them and instantly her and tone went straight sarcastic. "Well, I have known her forever and I know "how" she is. I know she has had to have slept with you already." I responded, "Really, I haven't and I truly do not have any desire to. You can ask the other girlfriend right now because she is standing right here." "They would lie for each other anyway" was her responce. In the back of my mind I was thinking, "Game on!" In no way was I remotely interested in this woman any more but, I wanted to find out why all of the sudden the change in her tone and why her accusations. Her she just stated that she was great friends with other woman and once she knew that I knew her the scene changed. So, I went to the other girl and explained that I had met her friend online and we were chatting and talking. This girl's responce was, "Well, if you're looking to get laid, she will sleep with you but, don't expect anything else." A few weeks later the third girlfriend had a large house party and BBQ which I helped with and did all of the grilling for. Both girls arrived and the phoney, unsincere laughter and giggles began to turn my stomache. I made it a point to remain invisible and out of the way until the exact right moment. Both girls began drinking and talking about their previous relationships and their "so called friend's" and their relationships and began tossing labels around about people. Now was the perfect opportunitty for me to make my presence known. I walked up and told them told them both I was so glad to see them and happy to finally meet the one. The look of dread on their faces was a sight to be seen and the silence that over shadowed the table and conversation was enough to make known something uneasy was about to unfold. I walked off back to the grill and both girls mouths started spewing lies about me that were rather educational. The first girl, whom I met randomly online, asked the other girl how she could still be friends with me after I told her that her and I had slept together. The other girlfriend began running her mouth about how I had supposedly been trying to get her to go out with me "for like ever" and that was my way of just dealing with rejection. With that comment, I grabbed the third girl and asked her if I had ever asked the second one out. She replied, "No, I've never heard you show interest or even ask her out." The third girl and I walked over to the table and we all did a few shots. The second girl spoke up and asked me when I was going to properly ask out her friend and stated to her that I'm a really nice guy. Literally, Tequilla shot from my nose and I started coughing. Everyone laughed. I looked at girlfriend #2 and remarked, "Why would I want to ask another woman out since I have such an issue handling rejection?" Girlfriend #1 then remarked, "Why haven't you asked her out? She's a good woman." I rebutted, "Apparently her and I already slept together I thought?" I asked both girls, "Aren't the two of you good friends?" We are "Besties!"" they both replied. "Then explain this..." I confronted them. I showed them both their text messages about each other and the accusations. From that day on I have been greeted with the phoney, "Hello's," hugs and the lies continue! How old are we all?

 
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