Top

music

Stories

 

Leave it to Jimmy Fallon to screw up a good thing

Somewhere around the second or third time you watch "More Cowbell" — possibly the greatest role of Christopher Walken's career — you will notice it: Jimmy Fallon, filling out a non-role as the drummer in the background, flubbing his one line and spending the whole time trying not to crack up, like he did in every single other skit he ever performed in on Saturday Night Live. And, as usual, he fucking ruins it. Once you notice his retarded chuckling in the background, you can never again fully enjoy one of the best skits SNL ever produced.

This is just one example of how much ass Jimmy Fallon sucks. He is a no-talent douchebag who was only on SNL because nobody else in the cast was attractive, and I hope his ice cream falls off his ice cream cone and lands in Australia, and he's stupid and I hate him. Seriously, though, it's mind-boggling that such a mealy-mouthed turd even has a career, and it's downright infuriating that he's the far superior Conan O'Brien's replacement. But more infuriating still is that through that show, he'll forever be affiliated with the Roots. Or — even worse — that the Roots will be affiliated with him.

Every time I hear the Roots — one of the most interesting, versatile, socially conscious hip-hop bands ever — referred to as "Jimmy Fallon's house band," a small part of me dies. The Roots have been around since 1987 and released ten albums before Jimmy Fallon even dared speak their name. Jimmy Fallon is a piece of shit whose most redeeming quality is that he wears excellent suits. If God had any mercy, the two would have no connection whatsoever. Nevertheless, at least the Roots are using Fallon's show to do something hilarious, because God knows nobody else is.

It speaks volumes that the high point of Fallon's interview with the so-psychotic-she-even-looks-psychotic "presidential candidate" Michele Bachmann last week came before Fallon even opened his stupid unfunny mouth: During Bachmann's walk-on, the part during which the band plays while the guest comes out and blows kisses to the crowd and shakes the host's hand, the Roots (led by drummer, producer and all-around genius ?uestlove) fired off one of the best musical burns ever by launching into the la-la-la intro of Fishbone's "Lyin' Ass Bitch." Bachmann, obviously not familiar with Fishbone's oeuvre, did not appear to be aware she was being insulted. Neither, for that matter, did Fallon.

As soon as everyone else figured it out, though, a shitstorm of humorlessness ensued. NBC pulled the walk-on video from its website. Jimmy Fallon, taking on an uncomfortably patronizing tone, tweeted that "@questlove is grounded." Oh, ha ha ha GOOD ONE JIMMY FALLON. But where the Roots proved themselves definitively to be totally out of Fallon's league was in having nothing to do with Fallon's half-assed apology: "I'm honored that @michelebachmann was on our show yesterday and I'm so sorry about the intro mess," he tweeted. "I really hope she comes back."

What a pussy. That was not a mess, it was a triumph. Then again, you can always count on Jimmy Fallon to fuck up a good thing.

 
My Voice Nation Help
16 comments
qtpi1969
qtpi1969

Jimmy is just NOT FUNNY. His guests are funny...but he just isn't funny. He stunk on SNL and he really brings down the tonight show. To compare him to Carson or Leno or even mention them in the same breath is impossible.

Harvey Korman used to try not to laugh and goofed his lines on the Carol Burnett show and that made the audience laugh more. Because he was FUNNY.

That's all Jimmy did on SNL and he wasn't!

 Watching his nervousness, his cue-card like delivery, trying over and over again to give him a chance to show he is funny, is a waste of time. He simply isn't.

 Not that Conan is...but Jimmy makes Conan look like a brilliant comedian.

 This is what late night has come to.

 And now with Ferguson and Letterman leaving, this could be the demise of most late night tv.

 Please choose wisely for the next batch whoever does this.


At least it won't be the same rocket scientists that picked Fallon, thank goodness.


mtb7001
mtb7001

the first paragraph says it all

Fallon is nothing but annoying to me. Even if he is making a good joke or skit all I can see is him totally incapable of completing his lines. Total no talent hack that ruins more jokes and skits than he enhances.



John Wenzel
John Wenzel

Right on, Jeff. I couldn't agree more. He was always the worst part of every sketch he was in on SNL (well, him and fellow non-presence Horatio Sanz) and I've always generally found him to be a black hole of humor and personality.

Ashaboo27
Ashaboo27

It's a shame you let one person bring you so much anger and disgust. Especially from maybe the happiest man on the planet. If you dont like him, don't watch him. Easy fix.

And also you should look into some anger management classes.

The Jennster
The Jennster

If Jimmy Fallon was a baby seal, I'd club him until he was quite simply dead.

Scokco
Scokco

Ha, ha! I love The Roots AND Jimmy Fallon. You shouldn't let things get you down so much--you make it sound like he's ruined your life. And of course he apologized; she was a guest on his show and it was just bad form (don't get me wrong, I think she's crazy evil too).

Guest
Guest

And you're just a bitter asshole. Jimmy Fallon is amazing, and the roots were completely at fault for the Michele Bachmann catastrophe. They are unprofessional and they play horrible music anyway, they should be fired.

Robyn
Robyn

Wow, a harsh review here to be sure. Of course we all have a right to our own opinions, and I respectfully must disagree with yours. I love Jimmy, find him intelligent, witty, brilliantly funny, and genuine. He treats all guests with respect no matter his own views. I really enjoy him, and felt like I had to just chip in my two cents.

Jef Otte
Jef Otte

Thanks for the compelling feedback, Ryan.

mtb7001
mtb7001

@Robyn  he has the mind of a 10 year old and acts like it

LadyJParker79
LadyJParker79

If Jimmy Fallon's face was on fire, I'd try to put it out with an axe.

farrellg505
farrellg505

@LadyJParker79 id put it out with a walnut cracker. But seriously, if I worked at nbc id fire fallon ASAP, in anticipation of leno being kicked out. Id fire carson along with him, if he's still on (I wouldn't know, I don't ever watch) and id rehire conan, keep him in new york, and do the show however he wanted it. Id hire seth meyers to do fallon's bit because seth's really not my piece of pie but infinitely better than fallon. Seth could go to l.a. if he wanted, I don't care. Then we FINALLY get a new head writer for snl, and I don't know who you'd pick but anythings better than what you have now. Then id let lorne michaels go, live comfortably in retirement, bring in somebody new to do snl. Fallon can go do a talk show for fox along with leno for all I care, fuck them both. Fallo

 
Denver Concert Tickets

Concert Calendar

  • October
  • Sat
    25
  • Sun
    26
  • Mon
    27
  • Tue
    28
  • Wed
    29
  • Thu
    30
  • Fri
    31
Loading...