Speak English, cabron!

Dear Mexican: Stop using Spanish in your column.  I like reading your column, but when every other word is in Spanish, I don't know what the hell is going on. It makes you sound like that nerdy kid who uses big words to try and sound impressive. Don't be lazy, and just write a good column.

Lazy Gabacho

Dear Gabacho: Primeramente, I AM that nerdy kid; except when I use grande words, I sound like a nerd and not impressive. Secondly, don't be flojo. Since I know most gabachos no hablan, I use Spanish sparingly, judiciously, so that even the most pendejo American can understand it. Since you're a fan of the columna, you're not tan dumb — but wake up and smell the tacos, cabrón, and learn español from mi column. Bilingualism is a wonderful thing, and studies are continually showing it leads to bigger brains and healthier sex lives. After all, better you learn from yo than the coming imposition of mandatory dual-immersion programs that the Reconquista will institute a la what's already slowly happening in California under threat of eating your heart — oops, did I just say that out loud?

Dear Mexican: What's up with substituting "k" for "qu"? Is this like the confusion of "v" and "b," or is this some youth fad, or laziness? I've started reading some Mexican crime blogs and noticed this practice in the comments sections.

Ke Paza

Dear Gabacho: Natural evolution of language, is all — but don't take it from me. I turn the columna over to Kirsten Silva Gruesz, professor of literature at the University of California, Santa Cruz, and a chingona who's working on a book about the history of Spanish in the United States with the awesome tentative title, Bad Lengua. "K linda la pregunta!" the profe responds. "Your reader is right that standard Spanish doesn't use 'k' except in foreign words. But substituting 'k' for the proper 'qu' was a way to flaunt authority long before the rise of cell phones: Young Basques would spell Castilian words with a 'k' in homage to their own language, Euskara, which has plenty of k's and which the Spanish government used to suppress. Some of that counter-cultural feeling (think of those anarchist signs denouncing 'Amerika') has carried over to virtual youth hangouts like Internet message boards. But Spanish texters all over the world have also taken to the 'k.' Y? bkz its ezr. By the way, you can blame the Romans for this whole mess: They used 'k,' 'q' and 'c' to represent the same sound, depending on where it landed in a word. The Castilians tried to clean up their spelling during the Renaissance and make it more consistent with pronunciation, which is more than you can say for the English!"

Gracias, profe! Parents: send your Mexi kids to UC Santa Cruz — some great academic desmadre being raised in them thar hills.

Preorder Taco USA! Gentle cabrones, my much-promised Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America will finally hit bookstores April 10, but that doesn't mean you can't already order it. Place your order with your favorite local bookstore, your finer online retailers, your craftier piratas, but place it: My libro editor has already promised to deport me from the publishing industry if we don't sell enough copies! And stay tuned for book-signing info!

 
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22 comments
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truco
truco

First of all dumbasses, mexico is in america.. Según some shit ive read on the internet .... hay mas hispanohablantes en america q english. 2. The guy is using mexican words, they are in spanish but they are mexican words, like por ejemplo, pendejo,, means a dumbass in mexico, means a kid in argentina, sometimes a smart ass. You can find what these words mean by putting them in the motor de vúsqueda preferido .. y bam ba aparecer los significados de los palavras q el puso... v and b have the same sound in spanish. ballanse a la mierda a todos

Zamora Carl
Zamora Carl

like Denise explained I'm impressed that someone able to profit $8653 in one month on the internet. have you seen this web link makecash16.c om

Jayneewina Guarren
Jayneewina Guarren

K's going on!? Spanglish! The new idioma(not 2 b confused with idiota). Lllamalo abreviacíon, or is it elongation? Caramba! TXT ROFLOL.Being bilingual, I prefer to speak one or the other. I believe in "When in Rome" And the language here is... Just like in Las Malvinas...They speak Ingles, aquí also, the lenguaje is... Learn IT.

MaxD
MaxD

Bilingualism is truly a wonderful thing indeed. I felt it completely necessary to learn Spanish when my company started doing business in Mexico. After all, it is very unreasonable to expect Mexican nationals to speak other than the native tongue in their own country, and rude to assume they should have to do otherwise just to appease me. So yes, I speak very good Spanish and am proud that I can. But when in my native country, U.S.A., I speak the national tongue. And demand that all in my employ do the same, it's just good business. And since all of my print ads state the fact that my company only speaks English I have seen my business grow and be appreciated for stating a simple fact for all to know and understand.

Rosso
Rosso

Let's Mexico annex the usa,now!!!

Rufus
Rufus

Nuq dah yuch dapol?

I'm all for learning new languages, even science fiction languages as above. I try to speak a phrase in another language every day, no matter how poorly I do it.

Holding on to a previous culture is okay. America is the great melting pot, after all. As for using Spanglish, who cares? American English adopts and assimilates from other languages constantly.

As I said, I'm for learning new languages. After all... if I moved to another country, say Mexico, would I be accomodated for my native language? Except for a few tourist towns, most likely no.

Just trying to keep things in perspective, y'all.

Sayonara.

Reg212
Reg212

My grandf ather is German and my Grand mother is Italian. Both when coming to America were not permitted by their fathers to use their native language once they had arrived in American. This was a show of respect and appreciation for the new and better life they had been GIVEN in America. Mexicans appreciate nothing we AMERICANS have given them and respect only themselves. They are a consuming cancer on our used to be great country.

CFJ
CFJ

Dear Mexican, stop trying to be el mas chingon and listen to you're readers.

Frances Rodriguez-Gomez
Frances Rodriguez-Gomez

~ Your 'Speak English, Cabron' was funny, enlightening, but very true. I consider myself bilingual, but I am not fluent. If someone would talk to me the way you replied to the letter, I know I would become more fluent. Reminds me of my first mother-in-law who used to talk to a 'Gabacha' girlfriend in half Spanish/half English, and I used to laugh about it then, but it surely makes sense to me now !! Thanx ~ ❤

Zamsolo
Zamsolo

Es una vergüenza que uses palabras tan despectivas en tu columna, eso muestra tu nivel de cultura, lo cual no es sorpresa, estoy orgulloso de mi cultura y my idioma, pero da lastima que gente como tu, se aproveche de un pais tan benévolo como EU y degrade nuestra cultura a travez de tu lenguaje tan soez.It's a shame that you use words as derogatory in your column, it shows your level of culture, which is no surprise, I am proud of my culture and my language, but I feel sorry that people like you, take advantage of this country as benevolent as EU, and degrade our culture through your vulgar expressions JAZ

Romus
Romus

Bi-lingual, no big deal. What pisses me off is seeing spanish instructions/directions/translations that come BEFORE the english ones (or are twice the font size as the English). Its bad enough that were being overrun by all the illegal Mexicans...keep the Spanish babble to second-banana in an ENGLISH country.

wiglaf801
wiglaf801

Órale, cuña'o--no digas "reconquista," call it "reunification"--sounds better that way. We don't want to scare the pobrectios who can't even use their native Ingles without mangling it. Y no le hace about the pinche pendejos on either side of that fake border. Viva Villa! Viva Aztlan!

Faycless
Faycless

This is America...I speak English only! If I lived in Mexico, (yea right) I would learn the damn language....

Pinche Madre
Pinche Madre

It would seem you're having enough trouble with English. Stick to the easy stuff, right?

LCP380
LCP380

If you are writing a story in the USA use English. If you want to use Spanish go back to Mexico. If I wanted to live in Mexico (yuck) I would learn Spanish.

Tangential
Tangential

Oh, and only girls carry lcp .380's.

Nikita
Nikita

I'm guessing that actually is a girl, since men don't use the word "yuck."

LCP380
LCP380

It's just a pocket carry. The 40 with hollow point loads is with me also, MISTER.

Tangential
Tangential

How's that armpit known as Michigan treating you?

AllanJC
AllanJC

" The Castilians tried to clean up their spelling during the Renaissance and make it more consistent with pronunciation, which is more than you can say for the English!"

U ar so rite, at least about us English speakers. Our spelling is a mess, and until we fix it we ar going ot keep on having major literacy problems.

 
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