3. "The Yearling"

Artist: Donald Lipski

Coloradans must like their public art really heavy on the chairs and horses. This one has both, though the argument over whether it's a tiny horse on a giant chair or a totally average horse on a bizarrely large chair could last almost as long as any meditation over the resulting question: Or am I just really small? Regardless, "The Yearling" is way more interesting than the children's book of the same name, and no one has ever died in it.

2. "I See What You Mean"

Artist: Lawrence Argent

Installed in June 2005 as part of a nine-piece series of art erected throughout the city, the Big Blue Bear's real backstory is fairly straightforward. So let's instead imagine what might have been: Driven wild by the shortage of toilet paper in whatever animated world the Charmin commercial bears inhabit, the community's largest (and therefore most hygiene-deficient) member gained a third dimension and struck out on his own. While we all slept, he tiptoed his way to Denver, barefoot (bearfoot?), where he became so transfixed by the Colorado Convention Center and so bothered by the elevation's effect on his lungs that he took a break – and immediately got stuck. Here, he waits in perpetual stalkerdom, staring down tourists and concert-goers until someone eventually sets him free with a roll of TP. Or something like that.

See also:
- After five years, it might be time for "Mustang" to mosey on
- "Mustang" isn't the only controversial public art in Colorado
- An ode to DIA's beleaguered blue horse

1. Silt's naked climber

Artist: Blaine Peters

This five-ton statue makes it to the head of the class despite the loss of its own – head, that is. Unveiled in small-town Silt in 2009, the naked climber became the butt of some brief drama when offended residents decided to cover up the piece's fairly bootylicious form, which draws attention from its post overlooking traffic. (Seriously, though, where is this statue from? Only a Texan would go climbing without the proper gear.) The arguments about its buttcrack being wack lasted only so long, however, and in 2011, another issue rose head and shoulders over the first one. The statue was mysteriously beheaded, though its tush, of course, survived.

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