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Ask a Stoner: When can I serve edibles at my restaurant?

Dear Stoner: I am a registered nurse, and I plan to continue being one. I also enjoy lighting up and would like to get a medical card — but not at the expense of my job. I have been clean for any job testing, and I realize that the need to do so won't change, card or not. What I'm wondering is if future employers will be able to know through background checks that I obtained an MMJ card?

Nurse Nugs

Dear Nurse: It's nice to know that there are open-minded people entering the health field; if only all nurses were as kind. Your secret is safe with us — and apparently with the Colorado Department of Health and Environment, which says that it wouldn't even respond to a background-check request.

According to Amendment 20, the only people who have access to your registry information are health-department employees and occasionally police, who only have access when they need to verify the status of someone who has presented them with a card or a doctor's recommendation. A spokesman at the Colorado Bureau of Investigation recently told us that the CBI isn't cross-checking for your red card, either (though it would probably love to do so).

But, remember, your occupational license as a nurse has several requirements — one of which is that you don't use any drugs. And unfortunately, marijuana is still considered one of those. So while the card will allow you to purchase meds at a dispensary and possess up to two ounces, it won't protect your career.

Dear Stoner: My restaurant patrons keep asking me when they'll be able to purchase extra-special desserts. Can I serve pot-infused foods as long as it's to consenting customers?

Chef Bong-r-weed

Dear Chef: Sorry, you're going to have to keep the cannabis bananas Foster for your personal dinner parties. Amendment 64 prohibits public consumption, and even though noshing a green-tinted dessert isn't as obvious as someone lighting up a spliff, your customers would still be consuming marijuana in a public place. On top of that, you would have to have a license to sell any marijuana products — and those don't exist yet.

But giving away cannabis confections at a private event is (apparently) a different story. Less than a week after I wrote in this space that pot clubs wouldn't be allowed, three quasi-private clubs were operating. By their logic, you could close down and have non-paying guests for a night — but why do that when you can just serve the likely already-stoned patrons regular desserts? This is Colorado, after all.

 
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4 comments
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What is a life without weed? thats a life i dont wanna live. Check out hahsoutloud.com

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Dear Bong-sucking Stoner,

Where can clueless pot punks go to get cannabis suppositories shaped like The Fist of Regulation?

Do they require lubrication first, or does dry framework work best?

Signed,

Stooopid Stoner


RobGsrh
RobGsrh

**Insert cranky donkey comment here**

DonQuixote
DonQuixote

@RobGsrh You braindead bongsucking stoners signed away your Banana's Foster rights when you voted for that piece of trash 64.  **insert random German porno image** 

 
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