Ask a Stoner: Why do bubblers create a stronger high than pipes?

Dear Stoner: I went to my friend's house who is growing now and asked to see his plants. He said they were "sleeping," and I wasn't allowed in the room. Has he just smoked so much that he thinks his plants sleep?

Non Toker

Dear NT: Marijuana relies on the sunlight to tell it when to bloom into a flower from a vegetative state. More precisely: Most varieties of cannabis crave their time in darkness — and in nature, that's usually in the fall as the sun starts dipping down into the southern sky. But how long a plant needs to flower depends on where its genetics are rooted. Sativas originally bred and grown in the tropics near the equator — where the change in daylight is minimal from winter to summer — take longer to flower, some as long as sixteen to eighteen weeks under artificial lights timed to twelve hours of darkness each day. In more northern and southern latitudes, that change is drastic. In Colorado, we get just less than nine and a half hours of daylight by the time the winter solstice rolls around; plants — mostly indicas — have evolved to flower much quicker.

So when your friend tells you his girls are sleeping, let them have their beauty rest. You'll appreciate it in a few weeks, when they're ready for the Ball (jar).

Dear Stoner: Why does my bubbler get me more stoned than a regular pipe?

Phil D. Bong

Dear PDB: Believe it or not, along with the tars and other chemicals the water might be absorbing, it's also removing some of the THC and other cannabinoids from your hit. In fact, you're better off smoking a sticky, fat joint. A NORML study conducted a dozen or so years ago in California showed that bongs actually have higher tar-to-THC ratios in their smoke than even a joint does. A joint produced about thirteen parts of tar for every one part THC; bongs had about 30 percent higher tar-to-THC ratios. And while the study was conducted using some weak-ass, government-supplied weed with a THC content of about 2.3 percent, that doesn't mean it wouldn't apply to today's high-powered, 20-plus percent super herb available in medical shops.

The reason you're getting so stoned is because of the chimney's worth of smoke you just slammed into your pulmonary vein. Some would say that's more efficient, others would say it's just nuts. If you're really concerned about the dangers of combustion, the best idea would be to join the 21st century, get a vaporizer and forget about burning your weed altogether.

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DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Hey Stupid Stoner,

Why aren't these columns categorized and keyword linked to "marijuana" ?

Are you too ashamed of the puerility of it all?

Yours truly,



Heat is greater danger than the smoke.  Iced bong is much healthier than joint.

Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter


William provided a really nice background for why your friend's plants are sleeping, but could have said more about why they shouldn't be bothered. Put simply, when the amount of "night time" they experience approaches 12 hours (as the days get "shorter"), the flowering cycle is triggered. This is what produces bud.

It is reportedly altogether too easy to interrupt the flowering cycle by causing them to receive light when it's supposed to be "night time." That amount of light is presumably somewhere between the amount of moonlight at its max and normal sunlight.

If someone were to expose flowering cannabis plants to too much incidental light, those plants might revert back to "vegetation" (growing, and not producing flowers.) This would basically be a disaster for the farmer.

Of course, in this context, we're talking about plants which experience only artificial light. Typically, plants vegetate under 18 hours of light per day, and flower under 12 hours of light per day.

DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Cognitive_Dissident ... at least that's the commercial propaganda of those selling magical green lights and goggles to clueless growers who fear ANY external light infiltration during the night cycle.

Stoners are so gullible and ignorant, they can be sold any pile of magic beans.