Ask a Stoner: What's your favorite music to smoke to?

Dear Stoner: I recently read some quote from Thomas Jefferson about smoking bowls on his patio. Did our Founding Fathers actually smoke the hemp they were growing?

History Buff

Dear Buff: The quote that is falsely attributed to T.J. — "Some of my finest hours have been spent on my back veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as my eye can see" — actually can't be sourced anywhere in any of his writings, all of which are extensively documented. Yes, Washington and pretty much every other Founding Father, including Andrew Jackson, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and Franklin Pierce, grew it. But that doesn't mean they smoked it.

All signs point to the cannabis being cultivated for industrial purposes. Reports from the era show that American hemp wasn't up to snuff for international exportation, so it was mostly used domestically — namely, as clothes for slaves. They also used it for paper, notably the drafts of the U.S. Constitution and Declaration of Independence. The actual documents are written on vellum.

But just because they probably didn't smoke it doesn't mean they weren't into the plant. Washington made extensive notes about "India hemp" and even a few scribbles about separating female from male plants — a move some stoners have pointed to as indication that he was cultivating sticky green sinsemilla. Sadly, that wasn't the case. Instead, Washington divided his plants between male and female to differentiate between plants grown for seed stock and those grown for fiber stock. He's also quoted prophetically as saying, "Make the most of the Indian hemp seed; sow it everywhere." The reality is that it was an instruction to his gardener to plant hemp and sainfoin seeds all over Washington's estate.

That said, a small part of us would like to think that at least one of our Founding Fathers threw an extra-stinky bud in a corncob pipe for a taster now and then.

Dear Stoner: What's your favorite music to get nice and baked with?

Cliff Nohte

Dear Cliff: I'm sure you're expecting me to say stereotypical reggae like Bob Marley or hippie crap like the Grateful Dead or some other hippie noodle-wank band like Phish. But no.

The best music to get really, really toasted to? Yacht rock like late-'70s Hall and Oates, Steely Dan, the Doobie Brothers, Michael McDonald and Boz Scaggs. The smoother the music on the hi-fi, the smoother your buzz will be. Trust me on this one: John Oates is a genius.

 
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39 comments
squibb.susan
squibb.susan

The John Oates quip sent me into hysterics! Last summer I was at Red Rocks for the My Morning Jacket show. One of my friends heard a rumor that John Oates was making a guest appearance. All our jibber jabber about John Oates got the drunk guy next to us to yell out, " I wanna see some Oates!" at the encore.  He came out with Trombone Shorty and performed Curtis Mayfield's "Move on Up" with My Morning Jacket. It was great! 

Lora Powers
Lora Powers

Why has the Westword turned into such a stoner rag?

Daniel J. King IV
Daniel J. King IV

OK, so I guess Michael Roberts retains his TITLE as the 'Resident Westword Prick' !!!

Daniel J. King IV
Daniel J. King IV

Is Michael Roberts the 'Staff Stoner' or just the 'Resident Westword Prick' ???

Aaron LeForce
Aaron LeForce

i would LOVE it if the stoner would cover real issues, rather than accentuating the stereotype of smokers. try to be classy (if that is even possible). try being more like VICE and less like TMZ.

Corey Donahue
Corey Donahue

Yeah but we are getting mad a whores, not reporters, and whores will do what ever they want to get that marijuana ad revenue flowing. We want freedom, so we are at an impass with these people.

Corey Donahue
Corey Donahue

I would like to know why he does not cover the closed door meeting between the Governor and the Federal Government. Or why he will not cover the F grade the MMED got and the deleation of emails that preceded it. Or how about covering why the governor signed a unconstitional and unsicentific cannabis DUI. OR why the A64 campagin lied about giving 40 million to schools. Sorry this is the whore of a rag the WASTEWORD so why don't you just write about cheetos and the best weed to smoke when eating them. I can see a Peabody in your future.

Lynn Teasley
Lynn Teasley

I will be disappointed if reggae isn't at the top if that list

11er
11er

Hendrix has songs for INDICA or SATIVA. You have to be careful with VOODOO CHILD and               WHO KNOWS. The FUNKADELICS MAGGOT BRAIN is one scary song... The GRATEFUL DEAD, SANTANA, LUDACRIS Blueberry YUM-YUM, HALL&OATS, ALLMAN BROs, PINK FLOYD, STONES, RARE EARTH, STEPPENWOLF, STEVE MILLER, AEROSMITH, RICK JAMES, SKYNYRD, EDGAR&JOHNNY, CLAPTON, BAD COMPANY, 2PAK, BOB, all that 70's  shit,  etc...

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

My money's on Franklin being pot friendly...just because it fits his profile.

John Dalby
John Dalby

Sleep is the ultimate! The original Stoner Doom band. Also (the) Melvins, Yob, Swans. Anything stony and drony. Where have all you people been??? ;-)

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Dear Bongsucker Billy,

What's your favorite song to masturbate to while stoned alone in your low-rent apartment?

Some puerile pot punks like Stuka and KevinHunt prefer Billy Squire's The Stroke ... though usually when they're doing a circle-jerk together.

Do you ever ponder the not-so-subtle homoerotic overtones of wrapping your pursed lips around the business end of a bong and suck suck suuucking on that gurgling hard tubular phallus while it delivers the pleasurable milky-white ejaculate you so habitually crave?

I'm curious ... yellow.

Donkey

Vannabus Cannabus
Vannabus Cannabus

I would have to say that nearly changes with every joint I smoke bui for the most part I would have to say it has a lot to do with the mood I was in before smoking the joint. :)

Chris Cater
Chris Cater

What ever band I have on my show that Thursday night :)

Will Hayden
Will Hayden

Smashing Pumpkins - Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. Dem opening strings.

Che Harness
Che Harness

All it has to do is mention pot and I reach for my bong. It's Pavlovian.

Sean Bracken
Sean Bracken

I never smoked, but any form of psychedelic rock would probably sound pretty good high, lol.

Kevin Isaacson
Kevin Isaacson

Wasn't this discussion pretty much exhausted around 1973?

J.L. Benet
J.L. Benet

While I understand why this column was added, it's not a suitable replacement for Savage Love. If you had to drop things, drop the dumb and often offensive Ask a Mexican and that stupid "comic" on the music page.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

Jim Morrison and The Doors: American Prayer

Oh, and Phish. Phuck you.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Vannabus Cannabus ... or whatever happens to be playing since you're too lazy to get off the couch and change it ... 

... and you lost the remote ages ago.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Octavia Montoya  "Sublime"

They asked for music, not pain.


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Will Hayden ... kill yourself now.

Cognitive_Dissident
Cognitive_Dissident topcommenter

@Kevin Isaacson 

Because no music has been produced since 1973.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@Kevin Isaacson  ... duuuude ... if you like synchronize Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon with The Wizard of Oz ... it like totally makes sense!

 
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