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Five things that anger us more than Joe Flacco signs

Five things that anger us more than Joe Flacco signs

We love the Broncos; we bleed orange; we have season tickets. But we just can't quite muster enough righteous indignation to be angry about the Joe Flacco signs that went up around Denver last week, infuriating so many people. Sportscaster Vic Lombardi pretended to be so upset about it that he illegally defaced one of the banners. Woody Paige blathered predictably about it on ESPN, while a group of fans circulated a Change.org petition asking NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to "Take the Joe Flacco signage off my Mile High Stadium! Get it out of my Mile High City! Broncos Nation will not endure this detestable and audacious act. Who in their right mind thought that we would just let this fly?! We stand united against your unbearable Joe Flacco signage."

Even Mayor Michael Hancock weighed in, telling 104.3/The Fan radio sports guys Big Al and D-Mac that sometimes you have to swallow your pride for the greater good — in this case, the honor of hosting the first NFL regular-season game of the year.

And we agree with him. It's awesome that Denver gets to take the stage in a rematch with Super Bowl champions the Ravens, the team that — oh, by the way — knocked the Broncos out of the playoffs last year, derailing our Super Bowl dreams.

But that doesn't mean we're not indignant about other things. In fact, there's plenty to be pissed off about when it comes to the Broncos. Here are five things that make us a lot madder than some stupid signs paid for by the NFL:

1) The fact that the Ravens beat us in the first place. This banner thing wouldn't be an issue if Peyton Manning could play in cold weather, and if the Broncos hadn't curled up in a ball and let Ray Lewis and company punch us in the mouth last year. If we had won, there would be banners depicting the Lombardi Trophy around town, and we wouldn't have this mess.

2) Von Miller. When we watched Miller do a little dance after a tackle two weeks ago in the first pre-season home game against the St. Louis Rams, it made us want to vomit. What are you dancing for, Von? You've been suspended for the first six games of the season for being an idiot. How about you just shut up and sit down, since your backups are going to have to fill in for you for a while? Do your dancing if you can still get twelve sacks in the remaining ten games.

3) Sports Authority Field is located in the nation's best craft-beer state — one with nearly 200 independent breweries — and yet there is almost no craft-beer representation among the dozens and dozens of beer stands throughout the park. It's time to update the beer choices, along with the scoreboards.

4) And speaking of booze, why is the front office drunker than the fans?

5) We understand the need for security at major sporting events, but the new rule that forbids fans from carrying any kind of bag — save for the clear ones issued by the NFL — or even seat cushions is taking things too far. The most obnoxious part of the process, though, is the handheld metal-detector wands that security guards now use to sweep everyone — even kids — as they hand over their tickets. Take out your keys and hold up your cell phones: Getting into a Broncos game is now harder than entering the Denver City and County Building, and almost as bad as flying out of Denver International Airport.

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Hot, hot, hot: It's not nice to tease Mother Nature. At press time last week, we pointed out that heat in the classrooms shouldn't be a big deal this year, as temperatures were supposed to be in the 80s during the first few days of the new Denver Public Schools year. That, combined with a later start date and some cooling improvements, had ramped down the hot-and-bothered rhetoric of a few years ago. But then temperatures rose steadily all week, topping out on Thursday; the Poudre School District and the Downtown Denver Expeditionary School, a charter school, both decided to close Friday so as not to broil any students. That's sure to reignite the issue — and maybe even heat up this fall's school-board elections.

 
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