Dear Stoner: How does the NFL feel about medical marijuana?

Dear Stoner: I'm reading a Sports Illustrated/MMQB article that says "a lot of [NFL] players suggest that marijuana is one way to heal their bodies." So if a Bronco gets legal medical marijuana in Colorado and then fails an NFL drug test, who wins?

Not At All Related to Patricia Calhoun

Dear NAARTPC: To our knowledge, that issue hasn't yet come up in the NFL — but the answer is that the NFL would treat a player smoking medical marijuana to deal with pain from running full-speed into another human being again and again over a three-hour stretch every Sunday much the same as it would treat a player who's lighting up just to get baked. That is, the NFL would freak the fuck out.

Compared with other professional sports entities, the NFL has a pretty harsh policy. For example, the NBA allows players to bomb three drug tests before they're suspended. Even the World Anti-Doping Administration has increased its tolerance for cannabis, allowing international athletes competing in events like the Winter and Summer Olympics to have up to 150 nanograms in their system. Now all the pro snowboarders can smoke up until the week of the superpipe event and still be eligible to compete.

The NFL, on the other hand, would fine them and suspend them from playing; length of suspension would be up to Commissioner Roger Goodell. But he levies heavy penalties even when players aren't technically caught using pot. Look at Von Miller's six-game suspension earlier this year for violating the NFL's drug policy. Miller didn't even fail a drug test; he just paid someone else to take it for him.

But even with all of that, it wouldn't surprise us to find out that there are Broncos with red cards. Chronic pain is the reason that most medical marijuana cardholders in this state have an MMJ recommendation, and it's no secret that football players live most of their lives dealing with it. Former Broncos running back LenDale White, a Denver native, was even spotted at the High Times Cannabis Cup, in the patients-only section, checking out the dope displays and massive dab sessions just like every other bleary-eyed person there.

Dear Stoner: Is it illegal to purchase used grow lights on Craigslist?

In the Dark

Dear ITD: Not only is it legal, but it's a great way to find cheap grow equipment used for only one or two harvests by someone who finally realized they didn't like growing pot as much as they thought they would. What you can't do, however, is trade cannabis for those lights.

My Voice Nation Help

what if the all the teams got together  and had a huge smoke out on the field somewhere would they fire all the teams and not have football?


Dear Bong-sucking Stoner,

How does the Colorado Bar Association feel about corrupt shyster Marijuana McLawyers who deliberately ignore their Professional Code of Ethics by willfully violating numerous Federal Felony drug and money laundering laws as they counsel, aid and abet their criminal clients in the operation of their Continuous Criminal Enterprises -- e.g. marijuana dispensaries. ??

How can an honest stoner know that the $$ they paid for "legal advice" is actually competent and accurate, and not simply wasted cash on a soon-to-be disbarred and indicted co-defendant ?

Your pal,

Jah Donkeyhotay

Bonus question: How many corrupt unethical lawyers can fit in a standard 8'x10' jail cell?

[ It's an open-book quiz, and you can use your calculator if necessary ]

nemopunk15 topcommenter

Quick Tip on used gear. 

Clean it twice. You should be cleaning everything before it gets near your grow room, used gear deserves an extra deep clean as there is no telling what sort of life it's had.


Here is a question for you, donkeyhotay:

Do you think it should be legal for anyone to buy marijuana from a store?

Looking forward to your reply.



A64 does NOT allow anyone to buy marijuana from a store, or anywhere else.

YOU, and the rest of the A64 fools and tools, explicitly DENIED EVERY ADULT under 21 any legal access to recreational marijuana -- from a store or even home grown -- leaving them exposed to ALL EXISTING CRIMINAL statutes in Colorado, many of them FELONIES.

Why are you such a vile self-serving prohibitionist ?