A 23-year-old Longmont woman was arrested in April after police said she drunkenly attacked a Boulder County cab driver when she couldn't pay the fare. Pepper Varga punched him, kicked him, bit him on the shoulder and hit him with a can of iced tea, according to news reports. The final insult: a painful titty twister.

Robert Elmar Taylor, 51, was arrested in Longmont after police said he stole an ambulance around 3 a.m. while paramedics were inside a home, helping an elderly woman who had fallen. The paramedics knew something was wrong when they heard the sound of their ambulance beeping — meaning it was backing up. Police said Taylor may have been drinking.

The Longmont Police Department issued an alert in October for a skinny Hispanic man between 5' 9" and 6' in height who was apparently riding his bike around town, grabbing women's asses, blowing them kisses and riding away.

THE SPORTING NEWS

Coors Field beer vendor Captain Earthman — who has been the only reason to go to Colorado Rockies games on many days — was fired in June by Aramark, the company that handles food vending in the stadium. Earthman, whose real name is Brent Doeden, told a local newspaper that he was canned after a dispute over where he could set down his beer tubs. The 57-year-old has been one of the city's most recognizable vendors for years because of his spacey outfits and fun razzing of fans.

Colorado Rockies co-owner Charlie Monfort was arrested in November and charged with driving through the town of Windsor with an alcohol level at more than three times the legal limit. The meatpacking mogul, 54, was also speeding, according to police.

Denver has had a love affair with its football team for decades, but new fans sometimes forget their history. Not Mike Fruitman, who owns Mike's Stadium Sports Cards in Aurora. Over the summer, he paid $2,550 on eBay for a barrel worn by the late Tim McKernan, known as the Barrel Man, who wore that — and nothing else — to every game. "It's not as heavy as I thought it would be," Fruitman's ten-year-old son told the Denver Post. "We Febrezed it."

A Kansas City woman caused a stir in both Denver and Kansas City in November when she posted a Craigslist ad offering to trade her wedding rings for tickets to the December 1 game between the Kansas City Chiefs, who were unbeaten at the time, and the Denver Broncos. Radio sportscasters debated the story for days, but the woman later revealed that the rings were from a previous marriage and no longer had emotional meaning. She eventually sealed a deal with a Chiefs season-ticket holder, who gave her tickets to both the Denver game and one against San Diego. The Chiefs lost both games.

PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES

Princess Leia may have rather kissed a Wookiee, but TSA agents at Denver International Airport preferred to frisk one. In June, airport security confiscated a light-saber-shaped cane from Peter Mayhew, the actor who played Chewbacca in the Star Wars movies, who'd been in town to attend Denver Comic Con. The cane was eventually returned.

Sure, they got the Wookiee — but federal agents at DIA managed to lose a man who was in the process of being deported from the U.S. to Gambia last January. Phoday Dumbuya, who had been convicted of assault in Denver, was walking into the airport with two immigration officials when he simply ran away, according to a news report.

A 24-year-old man who had been riding his bike — with a friend sitting on the handlebars — was charged with assault, resisting arrest and several other crimes in February after a Boulder police officer said he tried to strangle her. The officer had stopped the man for cycling under the influence; a second officer was able to subdue the man.

He wasn't the first person to be arrested in Colorado for riding a horse drunk, and he won't be the last. But Patrick Schumacher, 45, of Colorado Springs is probably the only person to do it during the course of a 600-mile trip to a wedding. Schumacher was popped in September after motorists reported that he and his horse — and their little dog, too: a pug in a backpack — were weaving in and out of traffic in downtown Boulder. Although all three spent the night locked up, they were released the next day. Schumacher then continued his journey to Bryce, Utah, for his brother's wedding.

Coloradans have to wear so many extra layers in the winter that they are quicker than most to shed them in the spring. But a group of revelers along the river in Durango may have taken things a little too far in May when they gave the full monty to passengers on the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad. According to the Durango Herald, a tourist took a photo of "naked men and women holding beers, whooping and hollering, and showing their backsides — and frontsides — for passengers aboard the train as it was pulling into town." The police were alerted.

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My Voice Nation Help
2 comments
whosdp
whosdp

For a bunch of stories WW would like to recall, it sure is happy to recall every last one of 'em...

WillieStortz
WillieStortz topcommenter

" Greg Brophy, the same guy who actually wasted effort and energy twice trying to get a law passed that would have put Colorado on daylight-savings time year-round"

I'll vote for him if he runs on this platform.

Who doesn't want Colorado to go on daylight-savings year round? Farmers and idiots, that's who. 

 
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