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Revised and expanded 2009 edition of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
by Rob Brezsny
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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Sometimes I think too fast and too much. My logic gets sterile. My ideas become jagged and tangled. When this happens, I head off to Turtle Back Hill for a hike through the saltwater marsh. The trail loops around on itself, and I arrive back where I started in about 15 minutes. Sometimes I keep walking, circumambulating four or five times. Going in circles like this seems to help me knit together my fragmented thoughts. Often, by the time I'm finished, my mind feels unified. I recommend you find your own version of this ritual, Aries. From what I can tell, you need to get rounder and softer.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the mid-19th century, French art was dominated by the government-sponsored Salon, whose conservative policies thwarted upcoming new trends like Impressionism. One anti-authoritarian painter who rebelled was Camille Pissarro. "What is the best way to further the evolution of French art?" he was asked. "Burn down the Louvre," he replied. The Louvre, as you may know, was and still is a major art museum in Paris. Judging from your current astrological omens, I surmise that you might want to make a symbolic statement equivalent to Pissarro's. It's time for you to graduate from traditions that no longer feed you so you can freely seek out new teachers and influences.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "Lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from evil," is a request that Christians make of God when they say the Lord's Prayer. If we define "temptation" as an attraction to things that feel good even though they're bad for you, this part of the prayer is perfectly reasonable. But what if "temptation" is given a different interpretation? What if it means an attraction to something that feels pleasurable and will ultimately be healthy for you even though it initially causes disruptions? I suggest you consider experimenting with this alternative definition, Gemini. For now, whatever leads you into temptation could possibly deliver you from evil.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): "You get tragedy where the tree, instead of bending, breaks," said the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein. But you don't have to worry about that outcome, Cancerian. The storm might howl and surge, but it will ultimately pass. And although your tree may bend pretty far, it will not break. Two weeks from now, you won't be mourning your losses, but rather celebrating your flexibility and resilience. Congratulations in advance!
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): It's a perfect time to start reclaiming some of the superpowers you had when you were a child. What's that you say? You didn't have any superpowers? That's not true. Before you entered adolescence, you could see things and know things and feel things that were off-limits, even unknown, to most adults. You possessed a capacity to love the world with wild purity. Your innocence allowed you to be in close touch with the intelligence of animals and the spirits of the ancestors. Nature was so vividly alive to you that you could hear its songs. Smells were more intense. The dreams you had at night were exciting and consoling. Your ability to read people's real energy — and not be fooled by their social masks — was strong. Remember?
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Not all darkness is bad. You know that. Sometimes you need to escape from the bright lights. It can be restorative to sit quietly in the pitch blackness and drink in the mystery of the Great Unknown. The same is true for silence and stillness and aloneness. Now and then you've got to retreat into their protective sanctuary. Dreaming big empty thoughts in the tranquil depths can heal you and recharge you. The magic moment has arrived for this kind of rejuvenation, Virgo.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the movie Clueless, the character played by Alicia Silverstone describes someone as a "full-on Monet." What she means is that the person in question is like a painting by the French Impressionist artist Claude Monet. "From far away, it's OK," says Silverstone. "But up close, it's a big old mess." You may still be at the far-away point in your evaluation of a certain situation in your own life, Libra. It appears interesting, even attractive, from a distance. When you draw nearer, though, you may find problems. That doesn't necessarily mean you should abandon it altogether. Maybe you can fix the mess so it's as engaging up-close as it is from far away.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your power animal for the coming months is the Bateleur eagle of Africa. In the course of searching for its meals, it covers about 250 square miles every day. It thinks big. It has a spacious scope. I hope you get inspired by its example, Scorpio. In 2014, I'd love to see you enlarge the territory where you go hunting for what you want. Fate will respond favorably if you expand your ideas about how to gather the best allies and resources. As for this week, I suggest you get very specific as you identify the goals you will pursue in the coming months by exploring farther and wider.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The standard dictionary says that "righteous" is a word that means virtuous and highly moral. The slang dictionary says that "righteous" describes someone or something that's absolutely genuine and wonderful. Urbandictionary.com suggests that "righteous" refers to the ultimate version of any type of experience, especially "sins of pleasure" like lust and greed. According to my analysis, the coming week will be jampacked with righteousness for you. Which of the three definitions will predominate? It's possible you will embody and attract all three types.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the dreams you're having at night, Capricorn, I bet you're traveling through remote landscapes in all kinds of weather. Maybe you're recreating the voyage of the Polynesian sailors who crossed hundreds of miles of Pacific Ocean to find Hawaii 1,500 years ago. Or maybe you're hiking through the Darkhad Valley, where the Mongolian steppe meets Siberia's vast forests. It's possible you're visiting places where your ancestors lived or you're migrating to the first human settlement on Mars in the 22nd century. What do dreams like this mean? I think you're trying to blow your own mind. Your deep self and your higher wisdom are conspiring to flood you with new ways of seeing reality.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It wouldn't be too extreme for you to kiss the ground that has been walked on by people you care about deeply. And it wouldn't be too crazy to give your special allies the best gifts ever, or compose love letters to them, or demonstrate in dramatic fashion how amazed you are by the beautiful truths about who they really are. This is a unique moment in your cycle, Aquarius — a time when it is crucial for you to express gratitude, devotion, and even reverence for those who have helped you see what it means to be fully alive.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In a letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway described his vision of paradise. It would have a trout stream that no one but him was permitted to fish in. He'd own two houses, one for his wife and children and one for his nine beautiful mistresses. There'd be a church where he could regularly confess his sins, and he'd have great seats at an arena where bull fights took place. From my perspective, this is a pretty vulgar version of paradise, but who am I to judge? I suggest you draw inspiration from Hemingway as you come up with your own earthy, gritty, funky fantasy of paradise. It's an excellent time for you to get down to earth about your high ideals and dreamy hopes.
Homework: Everyone fudges the truth and hides the whole story now and then. What are your top three deceptions? Confess at Freewillastrology.com.