Colorado Irish Festival at Clement Park (Friday, free until 7pm, $5 after 7pm) Saturday and Sunday, the Irish Festival costs $12-$15, so go tonight to get in for free or $5 (depending on what time you go). There will be drinking, dancing and music, plus a chance to peruse all the Celtic wares you ever wanted to peruse. Going on Friday means that you will miss most of the sporting events for the weekend, so after a few beers, start your own gaelic football match using clothing booths as nets and a funnel cake (there's funnel cake at every festival, amiright?) as a soccer ball. Read about Potcheen who's playing the festival. Thor at Elvis Cinemas (Friday, $3.50) There seems to be a lack of unique things to do under $10 this evening, so perhaps tonight do what all the poor people do -- go see a crappy movie for really cheap. Basically, you're paying a third of the price rich people paid to see it three months ago, and the great part is, it didn't get any worse. Thor seems like a good option because it looks decent, stars an Oscar winner and features a stunningly beautiful blonde man, yet no one in their right mind would ever spend $10.50 or whatever they're charging downtown to see it. For $10 at Elvis Cinemas, you can get a ticket, a soda and a candy bar and still have change. Booya!
Makeshift Shakespeare at the Bovine Metropolis Theater (Friday, $10) The Bovine Metropolis hosts weekly improv events, including Makeshift Shakespeare, an "all-male, all-Shakespeare" impromptu Shakespeare play. The short plays are acted by members of the house troupe at the Bovine and feature hilarity and costumes -- the perfect combination for any Friday night.
Mile High Swappers Food Swap at West Washington Park Community Garden (Saturday, free) There's no cash allowed at this bartering event -- simply bring at least five portions of a food you have made or farmed at home to exchange and some samples for other members of the group to try, and let the food swapping commence. Anyone is allowed to attend, although the bartering activity will be limited to thirty people, so make sure to get there on time, and also to paint adorable, irresistable, expressive faces on your backyard chicken eggs to make them better than anyone else's. Highland Running of the Bulls at Highlands Square (Saturday, free to watch) Even though the event cost $20 to take part, the money goes to youth protection services at the Tennyson Center -- so if you have the ten extra dollars definitely think about taking part. Otherwise, pour a beer into a Starbuck's coffee cup (no one will know), find a nice grassy spot, sit your broke ass down and watch other people run down Tennyson being chased by the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls, who will be pummeling the runners with Wiffle-ball bats. Free entertainment doesn't come more entertaining than that. ONE Gathering Skate for Life at Denver Skatepark (Saturday, free or donations welcome) Watching skaters at the Denver Skatepark is a constant source of free entertainment because so many awesome skaters call Denver home, but this Saturday will be even more exciting than usual when the Stronghold Society hosts a skating competition at the park to raise awareness concerning Native American teen suicide. In conjunction with a skate park being built on the Pine Ridge reservation of South Dakota, Saturday's event is meant to inspire teens to find more positive outlets for their angst.GRO Experience Skateboard Tour at the Denver Skatepark (Sunday, free) Double fun this weekend at the Denver Skatepark, because after Saturday's skating competition, the Girls Riders Association stops by on Sunday to show off their stuff. Girls of any age and any skating level are welcome to attend the day-long event. There will be workshops, demonstrations, classes and a competition later in the afternoon. Anyone participating must bring their own equipment and may choose to bring a donation for the nonprofit organization, which helps to inspire female skaters. Other than that, the day is free and open to all.
Yoga Rocks the Park at City Park (Sunday, $10) After a weekend of drinking, skating and Irish rabble-rousing, you'll be in dire need of some centering. Every Sunday until the end of September, Yoga Rocks the Park will be hosting group outdoor yoga sessions, which are $10 if you sign up in advance. Just make sure to drink plenty of water the night before; nothing is worse than doing plow pose hungover. Megalodon: The Largest Shark That Ever Lived at the Wildlife Experience Museum (Daily, $10) This event's been going on since May and lasts until January, but because the weather has been oungodly hot lately, spending time in an air-conditioned museum checking out fossils and models of enormous sea monsters sounds perfect. $10 covers the cost of admission, so aside from seeing the featured exhibit, centered on the Megalodon, you can also view the Heart of Africa and Gems of the Bird Man exhibits. Stalk your ex-boyfriend on Facebook (All Weekend, free) Stalking your ex-boyfriend on Facebook is the perfect way to waste hours without spending any money whatsoever. The best way to stalk your ex is to open Facebook in two windows: one window is used for paging down on his profile until the first day he was on Facebook and reading up his page (like a novel) while the other window is used for looking up all the girls he's been talking to since you broke up (hussies). You can do this sober, but spending six dollars on a bottle of Cook's sparkling wine is probably going to make things easier/better.