Absurdist Interview: Artist/Photographer Sara Ford
WW: How many Turduckens do you think it would take to fill the Pepsi Center? SF: Well, would you be able to separate the turkey and the duck and the chicken, or would it be the encased thing?
WW: Good point, because then you could spread them out more and cover more distance. SF: It would require fewer Turduckens if you were able to deconstruct them.
WW: Very true, so how about that, if you could deconstruct them? SF: If you could deconstruct the Turducken, how many would it take to fill the Pepsi Center? Man, I would say a shitload.
WW: How much can you bench? SF: I can bench the bar!
WW: What's the average wing-flapping speed of an African swallow? SF: Does a flap count as up and down as one?
WW: I think a flap would be up and then down, yeah. SF: OK, so I would say for an African swallow, oh man, I think like 5 per second. Are they really speedy like a hummingbird?
WW: I have no idea. I think so. SF: I don't know either, I could Google it, but I don't really want to.
WW: I don't really want to either. Who is better looking, Abe Lincoln or Robert Downey Jr.? SF: I think that if Robert Downey Jr. was sporting an Abe Lincoln beard, then that would be the best looking.
WW: That would be the ultimate? SF: That would be the ultimate.
WW: Kumquats are weird, are they not? SF: They're delicious.
WW: How do you feel about didgeridoos? SF: I feel like I know what they sound like but I don't know what they look like.
WW: They're those long things. SF: Those long things that Aborigines play?
WW: Yeah. SF: I don't really know what to think of them. I don't really know where to put them in my life. I can never really think of a time when I'm like, "man, this would be an optimal occasion for a didgeridoo, or some didgeridoo background music." So I guess I'm undecided.
WW: Got any jokes off the top of your head? SF: Yeah, ready? OK: knock, knock.
WW: Who's there? SF: You want to go ride bikes?
WW: Marcel Duchamp is a _________? SF: Smart for making a sculpture out of a toilet and getting everyone to believe in him.
WW: How odd is it? SF: It's real odd.
WW: Where can you find a good albatross when you need one? SF: In that one movie with Humphrey Bogart, right? There's some lead albatross, or is it golden?
WW: I don't know what you're talking about. SF: Is it an albatross or is it a different bird, in that movie?
WW: I've never seen that movie. I don't know. SF: Hold on. Hey Dad...hey Dad...hey Dad, hey, was there some Humphrey Bogart movie with an albatross, was it a lead albatross? Don't you know what I'm talking about? Maltese Falcon, that's what it was. Yeah, no, it's not an albatross. I think that movie would be cooler if it was called the Lead Albatross.
WW: Yeah, that would be sweet. OK, why are cats always trying to bite me? SF: Because you smell of catnip.
WW: Final thoughts or shout-outs? SF: I would like to give a shout out to my brother, Tyler Ford, because he is the most absurd person I know, and he lives in San Fransisco now, and I miss him.
Sara Ford has an upcoming show at Crema Coffee House in August 2011. For more information and to view more of her art visit sarafordphotography.com
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