Bob Barker vs Drew Carey: The least important feud ever, settled

Ever since regaining a shred of cultural relevance in the late '90s with a cameo in which he beat the bejesus out of Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore, it seems longtime The Price is Right host Bob Barker's been pretty uppity. So uppity, in fact, that last week, he had the balls to dis on his Price is Right replacement, Drew Carey, implying that Carey is a boring host. Sure, he's since retracted the remark, and true, Carey seemed unperturbed by it -- but that's not the point. The point is, there's a feud, and it needs settling. And we're here to settle it.

First, the back story: In an offhand street interview with TMZ it seemed obvious he didn't want to do, Barker said of Carey, "Well, he does the show differently than I did." But here's the interesting part: With very little coaxing from the interviewer, Barker added, "I tried to make the show really exciting. He doesn't do that. He just plays the games."

Snap!

But later, Carey responded with little concern: "Bob Barker's great, man. He's allowed to say whatever he wants." Interestingly, though, Carey added that he didn't think Barker had actually said that. Well, he did, Carey. And what are you gonna do about it?

Probably nothing -- but we are. Because the exchange got us thinking: Who really is the better host? To find out, we did an extremely scientific comparison in which we watched roughly 45 seconds of each host performing, took a few notes and made a decision. Let's take a look:

Bob Barker Barker may say he tried to make the show exciting, but as far as we can tell, he's playing it pretty straight -- with the notable exception of one self-deprecating joke, which he flubs. Not impressed, Bob.

Drew Carey Again, playing it pretty straight. Probably the most interesting thing about this clip is that, versus the previous clip, the set design does not appear to have changed in any appreciable way since 30 years ago or however long it's been. Even weirder is that Carey, with the horn-rims and crew-cut, appears to predate it. The show, though, is still pretty boring.

Our conclusion: Drew Carey is better just on principle, because he's done something with his career other than a billion years as a game show host and one notable cameo. We know the show was your baby, Bob, but it's time to unwrap your old, icy claws from around it and let it go. Nothing can last forever -- except, apparently, for set designs.