Drunk girl gets stuck in dryer: Your moment of lulz

Not helping.
Not helping.

Should you ever find yourself stuck in a dryer, you'll do well to remember this helpful nugget of advice offered by a wasted Chad to a wasted girl in that same incomprehensible situation: "You gotta get out the same way you got in." Easier said than done, if the five bizarre minutes of this girl's struggle are any indication, so we'll go ahead and amend that advice slightly: Maybe just don't get in the damn dryer?

Bafflingly, the action here begins

in media res

, leaving the important question of why there is a drunk girl in the dryer unanswered until the end, although we're offered some clues along the way -- at 2:10, for example, when she declares that she is "never gettin' in the dryer again," indicating that she has perhaps made a habit out of getting into the dryer up until this point. That comes after she's managed to extract her legs from the enclosure, which at least offers some ray of hope. Before that point, our favorite part is when her friend is pulling on her ass like she's going to pop her out of there like a cork. Ah, the complex strategies of drunk people. If only someone had thought to turn the damn thing on.

At last, after four and a half minutes of riveting suspense, success: Drunky is extracted from her self-imposed prison -- but like the best thrillers, this one ties up its various threads while creating new ones to leave a mystery: "Don't ever dare me to get in the trash can, I mean the fucking dryer ever again," she demands, by which we might ascertain that she would be willing to crawl into the enclosure of some other household appliance, perhaps.

Next episode: dishwasher?

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