Eric & Jessie: Game On: Ten things we want to learn this season
Denver has been waiting for a local power couple to watch on television (and we're not counting Lala and Melo) and now we have one to obsess over -- a ridiculously good looking one (see our post on the Latest Word). Last Sunday marked the highly anticipated debut of Eric & Jessie: Game On on the E! Network (the second episode airs this Sunday), and it was worth waiting for.
My roommate and I were very large fans of What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, also broadcast on E!, about a vapid Olympic swimming star and his day to day life, so we weren't sure anything could top that. But Eric & Jessie has everything! Here is a list of things we must know more of about Eric and Jessie as the season progresses.
See also: Eric & Jessie Game On: Balls in a jar?
1. Will Eric Decker stay in Denver to play football?
Perhaps the most important undertone and pressing issue during episode one was that Eric Decker will be a free agent after this year and "this game called football" is a complicated one. As a Broncos fan, I for one am hoping this gets resolved sooner rather than later, but I wouldn't count on it.
2. Will the end up getting married?
To build the drama, in the "this season on" clip at the end of the show, they seemed to allude that their impending nuptials may or may not actually happen. SPOILER ALERT, they do. The two were wed in June.
3. What other Broncos players can we expect to make cameos?
We were treated to a clip of Eric doing some training with his friend Wesley Woodyard, who as many will know plays defense for the Broncos. Who else from the squad will show up? Maybe Wes Welker will show up for a Madden session, or perhaps there will be a cute clip of Eric and the boys at Twin Peaks for a guy's night. The possibilities are endless.
4. How far will Jessie go with her pranks?
During the episode, Jessie looked as if she was cleaning the kitchen with some Windex. When Eric and her sister Sydney came in to talk to her, she squirted some of it in her mouth. They freaked out but it was quickly reveled that it was only Gatorade. That was a pretty hardcore prank. What's next? Baking with Drano? She seems to do this frequently, so lots more fun to be had in the episodes to come.
5. What other keepsakes do they have from their previous visits to the vet?
Eric had his dog neutered and kept his balls. Yes, you read that correctly. Why you ask? "You just never take a man's balls from him," Eric says, "so they're still there in spirit. At least he knows his manhood is sitting right there on my desk in my office." Great to know! It leaves us wondering what other pet paraphernalia they have hanging around the couple's new 12,000-square-foot home.
One of these dog's testicals are hanging out in Eric Decker's home office
6. Will Eric find Jessie's "hole" in her wedding dress?
Jessie had a bunch of people come in to town to see her try on her wedding dress. During the fitting, one sassy friend asked if she would have sex with Eric in her ginormous wedding dress. "If he can find the hole!" was Jessie's extremely lady like response. I am not sure we will ever know the answer to this one.
Was Jessie's "hole" ever found?
7. Will Jessie's sister Sydney ever find a man?
We were introduced to Jessie's sister, Sydney, who lives with them in their new home. It was revealed that she is 22, single and a virgin. In a particularly touching scene, her and Eric are shown playing basketball outside while he grills her about her love life. She wants to find a guy "who wants something more than vagina." Don't we all Sydney, don't we all.
8. Where else does Eric have body hair that Jessie finds attractive?
It was uncovered that Eric has "butt-crack hair" and Jessie finds it hot. Does she enjoy his arm pit hair as well? What about toe hair? So many questions!
9. Can they balance work and love?
It seems this question will be a central part of the show. As a man, Eric "needs a rock" and wants her to be an old-fashioned bride. She, however, has a budding career, including opening gigs for the Jonas Brothers AND Kid Rock and wants to go on tour in the fall (right when football starts, oh no!). We are in for a roller coaster of emotions here, people.
Jessie doing what she does best, whatever that is.
10. What is the key to a man's heart?
According to Jessie, it is "an open vagina." I am guessing they will probably be together forever due to this philosophy. Can't wait to see how this theory plays out!
What else are you looking forward to this season? Leave your responses in the comments and happy watching!
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