Everything Is Terrible's Commodore Gilgamesh on Wednesday's Brain-Melting Show

Behold the majesty of Everything Is Terrible! (clockwise from left) Yonder Vittles, Ghoul Skool, Commodore Gilgamesh, Rem Lezar and Wrong Man
Behold the majesty of Everything Is Terrible! (clockwise from left) Yonder Vittles, Ghoul Skool, Commodore Gilgamesh, Rem Lezar and Wrong Man
Jim Newberry

To try to explain an Everything Is Terrible! show is to try to describe the most haunting fever dream that has ever rolled through your brain: It's like the terror of sleep paralysis, but with a weird comedy aftertaste. The artists behind EIT!, led by the mysterious shadow figure of Commodore Gilgamesh, use the magic of video editing to conjure up visuals from the far reaches of every bad VHS program that has ever existed.

They’re bringing their latest show, Everything Is Terrible!: Legends, to the Sie FilmCenter this Wednesday for one eye-exploding event that will take viewers through the greatest hits of EIT’s historic media manipulation.

“The Legends show is actually truly so important!” shouts Commodore Gilgamesh from a far-off dimension. “It is life-changing, mind-altering, soul-destroying fun that can only be had by humans who beliebe [sic] they live in the god realm! That's us! That's you, Denver!” The masterminds behind EIT! will also make an appearance, interacting with the audience in mystical, terrifying ways. in advance of this legendary explosion to the cerebral cortex, we asked the Commodore a few questions in hopes of unraveling the spell that will unfold this week and possible destroy us all:

Westword: Dear Commodore, what is the origin of your mystical name?

Commodore Gilgamesh: One morn in the early 2000s I awoke from a fever dream and my true name had been carved into the flesh of my belly! I figured it was an important sign of some type, so I ran with it!

How old are you?

Seven.

For anyone who just crawled out from behind a rock and has never had their retinas burned, what can they expect from a visit by Everything Is Terrible?

A visitor to the EIT! Live experience can expect the most important and magickal night of their short life! One should anticipate to both lose a part of themselves and gain an entire new self!

What is in store for the masses with this newest "Legends" show?

Oh man, oh man! This is our best show ever! It is a fully interactive, Choose Your Own Destiny experience! And not only that, but it is also a smorgasbord of all of our greatest hits and banned vidz from our entire 2,000+ video archive! And and and our new costumes are super duper sick n' dope!

How long have you ruled over the EIT empire?

Since its inception seven earth sun cycles ago!

Who is coming with you on this caravan to Denver?

The vivacious Yonder Vittles and myself, of course, Commodore Gilgamesh!

Why do you actively seek to collect every VHS copy of Jerry Maguire and what do you plan on doing with such a bounty?

We need every single copy of Jerry Maguire on VHS for so many obvious reasons! Have you ever seen a pile of 1,000 Jerrys?! It is breathtaking! We are currently in the process of buying some land in the desert where we are going to build a pyramid built entirely of Jerrys! Then our work will be complete! This is not a joke. But it is.

All hail Commodore Gilgamesh!
All hail Commodore Gilgamesh!
Jim Newberry

Denver has embraced EIT since the beginning of your show; what do you love most about our fair city?

Man we love Denver so much! It is always an enormously enthusiastic and supportive crowd! And we've also had a lot of help from the staff at the Sie FilmCenter! You all know the rest! Denver is super cool duh!

What's your favorite pizza topping?

The virgin blood of a childboys. Oh! And mushrooms!

"Legends" marks a career apex for EIT. What is the next frontier for you and EIT to cross?

Oh no! I dunno! I never know! I feel like we always have a million plans that may or may not come to visit us here in reality! I know that we're going to keep aiming for the heavens and I know we'll keep exceeding our goals!!!!! There will hopefully be something pretty exciting coming out of the Memory Hole universe soon and something very very huge in the physical realm coming out of the Jerry Maguire project! So don't forget to bring those Jerrys tonight!

Of all of the clips that your eyeballs have scanned over the years, which one haunts you to this day? Which one still makes you laugh?

God, there's so many videos! There's over 2,000 just on our website, not even including the stuff only in our movies! So much that haunts my nightmares! The clip that comes to my mind immediately is about a made-in-America robot that sucks all of the man juice from traveling businessmen and sad loner-types! Watching that robot soullessly pulsate, with no other purpose to all its machinery, really cuts to what being a human in 2015 is all about! Oh man, what clip still makes me laugh?!! All of 'em! But most of all, an amazing BBQ guru teaching us how to do a better job while adding the right amount of lighter fluid to a grill!!!!

Everything Is Terrible's Commodore Gilgamesh on Wednesday's Brain-Melting Show
Ghoul Skool

Everything Is Terrible!: Legends will melt your mind at 8 p.m. Wednesday, June 3 at the Sie FilmCenter, 2510 East Colfax Avenue; tickets are $12, $10 for Film Society members. Visit denverfilm.org for information. You can find more Everything Is Terrible at their website HERE and their Memory Hole You Tube Channel HERE.

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