Furry field guide: An illustrated handbook for spotting woodland creatures in their habitat

Spotted!
Spotted!

It's a well known fact that animals are people, too, which is why Morrissey doesn't eat them. Less well known is that some animals are actually people, a rare and fascinating sub-genus of sapiens sapiens known as Furries, which work, play, hunt and mate unseen among the less heteroclite members of their order. In an ongoing effort to observe and categorize these woodland creatures into several distinct phyla, we sent a crack team of Westword scientists into the field to observe them in their natural habitat: a furry convention. These are their results.

More photos: Rocky Mountain Fur Con (60 Photos)

Furry field guide: An illustrated handbook for spotting woodland creatures in their habitat

Similar to the panthera tigris altaica, the white furry cat uses its pristine coat to blend in with its siberian environs -- and as such is often mistaken for its near-twin. What sets the Furry cat apart, however, is its characteristic locomotive "herping" and "derping," seen here.

Furry field guide: An illustrated handbook for spotting woodland creatures in their habitat

The Asian character markings on this otherwise ordinary canidae betray him as a near-perfect specimen of a much rarer phylum: the douche-fox, known for his exceptional skill at exonerated date-rape.



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