Hooters urges you to lop off your dog's testes with free chicken wings
This awesome shit could be yours!
The least likely demographic to neuter a dog, a recent PetSmart study found, is apparently also the demographic most likely to attend a monster-truck-related event, purchase a Coed Naked T-shirt or enjoy the delicious food and ambience of Hooters, everyone's favorite restaurant named after mondo gazongas. The study found that among males aged 18 to 34 (and particularly men living in the South), the primary reasons for not getting a male dog fixed were not getting around to it and the perception that the practice takes away said dog's manhood. But the Downtown Animal Care Center argues that the problem of pet overpopulation is more pressing than those cursory concerns.
"A lot of men still believe that neutering their dogs will take away a dog's maleness," DACC director Colleen McManus noted in a statement. "But a neutered dog lives a longer, healthier life, they're less likely to stray, they're more obedient, and, of course, it helps reduce the number of homeless pets in Denver, which saves taxpayers money."
To combat the problem, the DACC formed like Voltron with the first organization they apparently thought of that such men might respect, and thus was born Hooters for Nooters, which cleverly spells it different, but is still definitely talking about neutering. "We just decided to go where the men are to get the message out," said McManus. And may we say, Colleen, thanks for the vote of confidence. Actually, Hooters has been teaming up with veterinary clinics in other states for a few years now; this is just the program's first go in Denver. But it certainly is exciting!
To get in on it, all you have to do is head down to the DACC and get your pet neutered (spaying is also acceptable, for the ladies), and when it's all over, you get a coupon for free chicken wings! And if you're exceptionally lucky, you just may get a T-shirt that says NOOTER NATION on it, so you can finally go ahead and throw out that old Señor Frog tee. Pet-store coupons are also not out of the question, and all four Denver Hooters locations are participating. For more information, call the DACC at 303-595-3561.
Stand Up! the Workshop - Comedy Showcase
TicketsTue., Jan. 31, 7:00pm
TicketsThu., Feb. 2, 7:30pm
These Jokes Are for You (W/ Denver Comedy Champion Nathan Lund)
TicketsThu., Feb. 2, 8:00pm
Future Faces of Funny
TicketsWed., Feb. 8, 7:30pm
TicketsThu., Feb. 9, 7:30pm
For what it's worth, the wings are boneless.
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