If you can't go to the warrior dash, here's what you're missing

Like some kind of bizarre cross between Braveheart, the original Woodstock and the most flamboyant boot camp of all time, The Warrior Dash in Copper Mountain brings together 350 hyperactive children in adult bodies to don their best Agamemnon-wear, run a formidable obstacle course and get really, really muddy. It sounded good, but it got even better when we got a hold of these press photos -- we couldn't run them all in the print edition, but they're too awesome not to use, and so we're bringing them to you, just so you can know what you're missing if you can't make it. And, what the hell, we threw in some snarky captions, too.

If you're thinking it's strange that you would need a sword on an obstacle course, it's because at the end, you have to slay Mel Gibson.
If you're thinking it's strange that you would need a sword on an obstacle course, it's because at the end, you have to slay Mel Gibson.
Moments after this photo was taken, this man was given the honorary name of "Hugs America" and made the second white guy after Kevin Costner to join the Lakota tribe.
Moments after this photo was taken, this man was given the honorary name of "Hugs America" and made the second white guy after Kevin Costner to join the Lakota tribe.
Though the story of William Wallace has been immortalized, it's less well known that an obscure clan of his fellow Longshanks was also involved in science olympiad.
Though the story of William Wallace has been immortalized, it's less well known that an obscure clan of his fellow Longshanks was also involved in science olympiad.
Providing a nice balance between guy one, who wants to fight you, and guy two, who is coming on to you, guy three just wants to tell you how excited he is about that beer.
Providing a nice balance between guy one, who wants to fight you, and guy two, who is coming on to you, guy three just wants to tell you how excited he is about that beer.
There's, uh, there's nothing we can say about this to make it any sillier.
There's, uh, there's nothing we can say about this to make it any sillier.

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