Unless you are homeless or have a healthy masochistic streak, chances are you're not much inclined to wait in line overnight for the grand opening of IKEA Centennial at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning, as more than a hundred people have been doing since yesterday. Luckily, we are both of those things, so we're doing it for you. Starting at 11 o'clock this evening, we'll queue up, hunker down and party all night outside the store in hopes of feasting our eyes on the inexpensive Euro-glory -- and we'll be telling you all about it, so you can stay home and watch TV like a normal person.
Among the highlights, you can expect 140-character conversations with Sally Overs, the first person in line, and Cory Archuleta, the hapless KBPI intern who's been there even longer than we have, as our man Cory Lamz attempts to stay sane, stay awake and eventually get a crack at that gift card the store's giving away to the first 2,500 adults through the door (so don't tell anyone he's in the media, because then he's ineligible).
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Can he do it? Will he say "fuck it" and go home to watch Amazing Race reruns? Will the anticipation of well-designed, reasonably priced furniture be too much? Find out with up-to-the-minute updates on the @WestwordCulture twitter feed all night, and stay tuned for a full overview of the experience tomorrow morning (along with what he bought).
At the very least, it'll be slightly more entertaining than Jay Leno.