In honor of sliced bread's 83rd anniversary, the ten greatest things since

The year was 1928. It was a time of great prosperity, of that weird dance where people put their hands on their knees and cross them together and of crazy machines that did all sorts of wacky things, like, you know, slice bread. A machine for slicing bread, in fact,...

By Jef Otte

July 7, 2011

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "12017618",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17242653",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18838239",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17261320",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18838239",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17261321",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

The year was 1928. It was a time of great prosperity, of that weird dance where people put their hands on their knees and cross them together and of crazy machines that did all sorts of wacky things, like, you know, slice bread. A machine for slicing bread, in fact, had been in prototype since around 1912, but it wasn't until this exact day 83 years ago that the first loaf of apparatus-dissected bread rolled off the assembly line in Chillicothe, Missouri, thus revolutionizing the way America ate and in the process making Chillocothe, Missouri notable in some way. But there have been many great things since.

And so, on this 83rd anniversary of that great and storied day, we've applied extremely scientific methods to our extensive search for the ten greatest things since sliced bread. Also, by "extremely scientific methods" we mean "a Google search of the term 'the greatest thing since sliced bread.'" Here's what we found:

MySpace

Extended car warranties

Your dad

The novel "The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread," by Don Robertson

Local church aid after natural disasters

The WWE's Zack Ryder

No-till planting

Unions

"Moves Like Jagger"

Fracking

So there you go. Apparently, sliced bread wasn't so damn great, after all.

Follow us on Twitter!

Like us on Facebook!

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.