Sammi, the psychotic drama bomb is back--and within the first thirty seconds of this episode, Ronnie has already returned to his usual sniffling shit-show behavior. Between his slamming of sliding doors, turning pale, mumbling and pouting, Ronnie is a tantrum-throwing mess. The Situation makes everything worse by imitating the chokehold that is Sammi's twisted and backhanded verbal handcuffs. But no matter, Ronnie wears his imaginary love shackles with pride, allowing everyone to make fun of his sad state, yet again.
Everyone's favorite whack job, Sammi
While everyone is primping for their usual trip to Karma, Snooki calls Vinny over to her part of the couch and quietly instructs him not to bring a girl home for the night--as if she has any real say in what he does. The crew heads to the club, where Ronnie spends the whole night being obsessed with where Sammi and her horrible attitude are in the club, in relation to him.
The smartest woman in Jersey
Snooki tries to elbow her way into Vinny's room to bust up his smoosh-down, but Ronnie intercepts. While he's trying to counsel Snooki about the birds and the bees and the rules of hooking up, Sammi is in the background talking all kinds of stuff about "men" and "boys" and "pigs." Like we (and Ronnie) don't get it. Like we don't get that Sammi is still full of hate.
If only Roger was the one saying what the subtitle reads here.
Back at the house, the battle against the poop in the toilet is raging on into its third episode. A plumber finally finds the culprit of the stank clog--a men's t-shirt. This t-shirt, or the "shit-tee" as it's now named, takes up a good five minutes of the show's dialog. We also witness Snooki do something that has never been seen before: She cleans.
The innocent woman blamed for the cheese incident.
That night, Snooki, Ronnie and Sammi stay sober and fuck things up at the house, royally, continuing the prank war from previous episodes by putting cheese in the Situation's bed. The rest of the house goes out and duh, gets drunk, and JWoww reunites with Roger. The Sitch finds a girl, makes sure she's 21 and takes her home, where the bed funk takes its toll on his potential hook-up.
Warning to women of the world: This man believes that STDs cannot be spread through oral sex
The poor girl gets booted and the next morning, the Situation regales the girls with his smelly drama story. He reveals that after he caught wind of the cheddar-ness, he made sure to get a blow job from the girl before he called her a cab -- get this -- because, somehow, as a thirty-year-old man, the Situation believes that one cannot get an STD from a BJ. JWoww calls a doctor, literally, to prove that yes, STDs are spread through oral sex. Luckily, the Sitch did spray his bed with Axe after it happened, so he's probably in the clear.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!