My, how attitudes change -- or, rather, how well MTV edits. Episode three opens with Sammi feeling remorseful after somehow, just now, realizing Ronnie is a liar. A big one. She's ready to apologize to the girls, and Ronnie is ready for her to peace out of the relationship, since it is obvious he has been out of it -- mentally, anyway -- for a long time. Meanwhile, that gruesome twosome, Deena and Snooki, are home from the bar, vocally horny and plowing through whatever food they can find in the fridge. At this point, Snooki has moved from pickles to potatoes. Snooki, potato in hand, goes for Vinny, who denies her. Again.
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Deena is getting no where with the Situation, so Snooki dives in and tries to offer him a threesome. Somehow, in the mind of the Situation, two uglies make an awesome. But once in the bedroom, Snooki dips out, and the Situation is bummed. He, too, decides it is a good idea to leave. No one gets laid.
The episode ends with Snooki blacked out on the beach. Rolling around and falling down, Jwoww and Deena do their best to drag her home before she gets in trouble for being publicly drunk. Unfortunately, the police try to help and Snooki ends up getting arrested instead. Jwoww does the right thing and calls Snooki's dad -- and things just get shittier. Poor Snooki.
"She's begging for Seabiscuit" - Vinny, in reference to his penis.
"Can we have a threesome? I'm so fucking horny." - Snooki, while chugging a two-liter of soda.
"Stop caring and fuck me, man." - Snooki
"I was looking for that threesome, I got stuck with the Dee-some." - The Situation
"I'm thinking Paulie is really black, because when he tans, he's, like, black." - Snooki
"I need a mind condom. Because I'm being mind-fucked." - Ronnie
"We've just got chemistry, and I'm not talking about the class."- The Situation
"He's polite and respectful -- which is shocking." - Jwoww
"My DTF-o-meter is pretty much at a ten." - Vinny
"This isn't, like, law school. This is a T-shirt shop." - Snooki