Ah… the “Gay Boyfriend.” Where would the modern woman be without her favorite accessory? Take, for example, Grace’s Will (may they rest in peace.). Or Wilhelmina’s Marc. Or, of course, Carrie’s Stanford (That movie comes out in 63 days, by the way. I’m totally taking that day off). I, myself, am one (Hi, Amy).
Throughout history, a straight woman and her Gay Boyfriend have gone hand in well manicured hand. A perfect blend of snarky and sweet, the Gay Boyfriend is usually as cute as the “real” boyfriend and always more fun to go shopping with. He’ll tell you your “rack looks amazing in that top” and it’s not creepy or pervy. He’ll let you know when “your hair is going frizzy in the back” and it’s not insulting. You can spoon all night long and it really is just because “he wants to cuddle.” And most importantly, he’ll listen with an open heart and an open bottle of Absolute until the wee hours of the morning as you cry about lost loves, lost jobs or lost earrings. In short, the Gay Boyfriend is a must have for every woman out there. He goes with everything.
And here we have another fine example: Amanda Earls and her Gay Boyfriend Matt LaFontaine. These two Denver comics are camping it up in the naughty musical comedy Moby Dick! at the Aurora Fox theater, 9900 East Colfax. But what’s this I see? Is Ms. Earls yawning? Has the Gay Boyfriend gone the way of the banana clip? The huge Jordan Knight button? Dare I say it, Carrie’s “Carrie” necklace?
And look at Matt. His gaze is wandering and, judging by his bored expression, not because of a cute waiter passing by. Some in the know are saying that the “fag stag” – a gay man’s straight, male best friend – is the new “fag hag.” (Hi, Kent).
Not to worry, though. Like every fashion trend, The Gay Boyfriend as an accessory is bound to rise and fall in popularity. But one thing is certain: We will never fully fall from grace, no matter how much Fred Phelps and the religious right would like us to, and for one good reason: musical theater.
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Our stags won’t go with us and your real boyfriends won’t go with you. So it looks like the Gay Boyfriend is here to stay.
And speaking of “Musical Theatre,” you have one last chance to see Amanda and her Matt, in Moby Dick! Directed by Nicolas Sugar, Moby Dick! is a fast-paced “play within a play” that tells the story of an all girl’s school putting on their musical version of Herman Melville’s classic story. For last chance tickets, call 303.739.1970. - Steven J. Burge