A friend of mine forwarded me several pictures like the one shown here claiming that theses skirts are all the current rage in Japan. According to my “source,” the skirts are not really see-through, but designed with these prints on the back to make them appear see-through. As we all know, fashion trends typically are born in Japan or Paris or Italy and take a while to filter down through the fashion capitals of the world and land in “Normalville, USA” so I wasn’t too quick to dismiss this claim as just another urban fashion legend. With a little help from our Editorial Assistant, Ms. Aubrey Shoe, however, it was quickly discovered that the women of Japan have far too much taste to sport a phony fanny. It’s a hoax. Whew.
But what if it hadn’t been a hoax? What if this had been true? If this faux see-through skirt was making its way through Japan right now, how long before we would have seen these virtual asses walking the streets of Denver? And, just because they aren’t a reality right now, maybe these skirts are, in fact, a good idea. I can tell you right now that the air-brushed asses printed on these skirts are far more attractive than a real, live ass I saw walking down Colfax in a drunken stupor just last weekend. Eww.
Plus, think about the self-esteem boost they would offer to millions of people ready to embrace them. And not just women, either. Nope. I’m telling you right now… let some brilliant designer superimpose the image of Matthew McConaughey’s torso onto a T-shirt and I’ll be first in line to buy one. It would certainly beat doing a million crunches, right?
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Right. Think about that, Denver.
For more information on the phony fanny skirts, click here.
- Steven J. Burge