Meet Willard Yoder, convicted Amish sexter
The actual headline from this story, "Amish man accused of sexting Indiana girl, 12, arriving for sex meeting in horse and buggy" was too good to be true. "Sexting" and "horse and buggy" in the same sentence? No way. But then, we clicked the link and found something even better: Willard Yoder's mugshot. First of all, how did Yoder know about the Lloyd Christmas hairdo? There's no way this dude has ever seen Dumb & Dumber, unless there is a crank handle-powered television and DVD player out there we don't know about. Also, what was he sexting on? A tin can? We searched the Internets far and wide for an Amish-friendly cell phone, but all we found was this cool Amish laptop.
We're aware that the real problem/crime here is that Yoder was sexting a child, but we just don't understand how an Amish man can use a cell phone in a buggy -- and not get pulled over, at least? Isn't sexting and buggy-steering as much of a crime as sexting and driving? According to our new favorite Amish stuff resource, AmishAmerica.com, some amish communities allow cell phones for business use. Huh.
Maybe this dude didn't get the memo that sexting is not work-appropriate. Someone should probably take away his internet and cell phone privileges and relegate him back to word processor use only.
Now if you'll excuse us, we're going to go track down the guy who invented the word "sexting" and slap him. Because parents don't need another word in their vocabulary that makes them sound so immediately out-of-touch.
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