It was a momentous day for the Centennial State on Saturday, when Deepak Sharma Bajagain shattered the Guinness world records for Most Envelopes Torn in Half in Thirty Seconds and Most Grapes Eaten in Three Minutes with a Small Plastic Spoon (stay tuned -- we'll bring you video of Bajagain breaking those records tomorrow), thus adding two more bright spots to a prodigious legacy of world records that already includes the most somersaults and twists in a freestyle aerial jump and the smallest atomic clock. And Bajagain's record-setting efforts would be far from the weirdest achieved in our fair state; here's a look at some of the other dumb, baffling and otherwise bizarre Guinness world records our state can claim.
05. Largest Picture Made of Lite-Brite
Denver artist Lori Kanary doesn't consider herself a "toy artist," but there's no denying that some of her most attention-grabbing artwork has involved toys, from the weird commentary on plastic surgery she did with Silly Putty in August at NEXT Gallery to her work with Lite-Brite, for which she grabbed a Guinness World Record in 1999 with a Claude Monet reproduction. A few years later, she turned on the magic of colored lights and broke her own record with a "billboard-sized," 350,000-peg illustration of an ASICS shoe.
4. Oldest Electronic Spam
Somewhere in the bowels of our Hotmail inbox, we've still got the original message of an ongoing correspondence between us and a Nigerian businessman who's been trying to get us to accept a transfer of USD 50,000 if only we would give him our account information since somewhere around 1995, but as it turns out, that's not even close to the first incidence of email spam. That dubious distinction belongs to one Gary Thuerk of Colorado Springs, whose mass invitation to a boring office party was sent over the U.S. Department of Defense's ARPAnet, a precursor to the modern Internet, in 1978. The original email, Guinness notes, still exists. We're not coming, Gary.
3. Largest Gathering of People Dressed as Vampires
Here's what you need to know about this one: These are not some bullshit teenybopper Twilight vampires we're talking about; when Guinness says "dressed as vampires," that means old-school, Dracula-style vampires -- and there are some very specific parameters. For males, the garb is black cape, black pants, white shirt, neck frill or tie, black shoes, vampire teeth; for females, it's a black and red dress, dark eye makeup, red lips, black high heels, vampire teeth. The Loveland Road Runners took that record in 2009 by rounding up 354 people dressed just so. Plus, they raced. Take that, Stephanie Meyers.
2. Largest Gathering of People Dressed as Gorillas
Proving Colorado's deep-seated affinity for rounding up a shitload of people dressed as the antagonists of depression-era horror flicks, the Denver-based Mountain Gorilla Conservation Fund took this record in 2009 (hardly two weeks after the LRR set the Vampire record, just by the way) by amassing exactly 1,061 participants to run dressed in gorilla suits. Somewhere in the world, Fester Bestertester delicately placed his mouth around the barrel of a fucking shotgun.
1. Farthest Distance Flown with a Rocket Belt
Set in 2008 in Royal Gorge, Colorado, this world record itself holds the world record for baddest-ass world record ever set.
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And here's a little video of Bajagain breaking the world record with the grapes: