There's a storm in the midwest that's causing everyone to roll out their stupid snow puns again (Snowpocalypse Now!) and here in Denver we're getting into the negative double digits -- a big day for Netflix Instant, the movie rental option that doesn't require pants, much less a jacket and ice-scraper. And the magical, information gathering, privacy-smashing internet is telling us what, exactly, people are streaming here in Denver. Thanks, Netflix Local Favorites! So what are we all watching instead of going outside?
Netflix doesn't spend a lot of time explaining its metrics, so it's not totally clear what, exactly, they're measuring here. What is definitely true is that this is not what is being most watched across the board here in Denver, but what is being watched at the most greatly increased rate here. So it's really ranking what movies have their highest-percentage viewership in our city. The top ten are:
Pat yourselves on the back: we love whales and documentaries. Pretty sure that's worth at least an honorable mention from the Noble committee. Or maybe we just love Willem Dafoe, who narrates.
9. Rivers and Tides Another documentary set on bodies of water. This time, about artist Andy Goldsworthy and his nature sculptures. No idea on this one -- maybe an assignment for an art history class at DU or something?
8. Warren Miller's Ride Legitimate possibility of frostbite keeping you off the mountain? Never fear, you can sit on your couch and imagine you're there. We never really understood the appeal of Warren Miller movies -- it's like treating Nature Sounds CDs like real music.7. Art School Confidential
Did all the art school kids assignedRivers and Tides
get bored and go looking for some pop-culture inspiration? Seriously, just go watchScott Pilgrim
6. Raging Planet Another nature documentary? Seriously? We don't know whether to blame hippies, stoners or both.5. Gangland Season 6
Would a little fiction kill you people? We recognize the numbers issue here, but this is an incredible amount of dead-serious programming. This is the season with the Denver episode, so it sort of makes sense.
4. Eddie Izzard: Definite Article Come to think of it, we have run into a disproportionate number of Eddie Izzard fans here in Denver. Fits right in with our well-documented obsession with Brits and cross-dressing. Oh wait: That makes no sense.
3. Warren Miller's Dynasty DUDE LOOK AT ALL THAT FRESH POW THAT BRO IS CARVING, BRO!!! WE GOTTA GET A HELICOPTER AND SOME SPONSORS!!! (Bong Hit)
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A cult classic we never liked as much as we were supposed to. Definitely a slacker rallying cry, however. Pair it with the nature documentaries and you won't even need the census to confirm the size of the burgeoning "creative class" here.
1. Man vs. Food: Season 1 Another one getting help from a Denver episode. He went to the Cherry Cricket, Buckhorn Exchange and Jack-n-Grill. None of those places deliver, people, so we're recommending that you all stop watching this and go back to your nature documentaries.