If these walls could talk.
Barack Obama left town yesterday without going anywhere near Denver International Airport. After barely three hours on the ground in Denver, which was part of a three-state Western swing, the President headed back to Washington, D.C., without even a drive-by tour of the secret bunkers at Denver International Airport -- if you believe his handlers.
Emily Stevenson does not. "What's going on the 27th of September?," she wrote this past weekend on DIA's Facebook page. "What you all hiding over there? When do I get to meet the Ruler of the World who will be my husband, the Antichrist?"
Good question. And what about those secret bunkers below DIA -- which are designed to house either Martians or prisoners of the New World Order, depending on who you believe. Conspiracy theorists had suggested those bunkers would also protect President Barack Obama from Comet Elenin -- but the comet never hit.
But the rumors about the approaching comet, as well as DIA's recent Homeland Security exercise, were enough to get the web buzzing -- and keep airport officials busy. "We have not painted over our murals and I can officially tell you that the conspiracy theories about DIA are not true," says spokeswoman Jenny Schiavone.
"In our experience," adds DIA's Jeff Green, "the conspiracy theories about DIA have largely been created by people whose mothers still cut the crusts off of their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."
And DIA conspiracies continue to take off, many of them tied to the artworks there. Our favorites:
5. "Children of the World Dream Peace," by Leo Tanguma
DIA's own website, flydenver.com, says it all: "A few fanciful conspiracy theories have been generated by this artwork, none of which were intended by the artist . . ." Oh, yeah? And there's been a sudden spate of stories suggesting that some of Leo Tanguma's murals have been removed -- which Schiavone denies. For the record.
4. "Untitled (Garden)," by artist Michael Singer
Want to know what happened to the Mayan civilization? Get a clue from the always-dying work in Concourse C, which is much more of a ruin than the artist ever intended.
3. "Notre Denver," by Terry Allen
Gargoyles! They're not just guarding against lost luggage.
2. "Mustang," by Luis Jimenez.
A.K.A., "The Devil Horse," a.k.a. "Blucifer." Creating this giant blue steed killed artist Luis Jiménez -- and we're sure he won't be its last victim.
1. Great Hall Floor, by Juane Quick-to-See Smith and Ken Iwamasa.
Gone is Doug Hollis's "Mountain Mirage," the water sculpture that leaked into DIA trains. It's been replaced by a new piece by Juane Quick-to-See Smith and Ken Iwamasa, who'd been commissioned to create designs in the Great Hall floor before the airport ever opened -- and they installed many secret messages, according to conspiracy theorists. "On other places, strange words in an unknown (possibly alien) language are written on the floors ("DZIT DIT GAII" and others)," says skeptoid. The new piece, in the center of the terminal floor as you get off the trains, is allegedly designed to look like a Navajo rug.
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But you can't sweep its real meaning -- whatever that might be -- under the rug.
Look out below!