Screensaver porno fail: Your moment of lulz

In this crazy culture of individuality, people like to express themselves. They like to personalize their personal things so that everybody will know how personal they are, because our lives in the culture of personalization hinge on the assumption that other people are not too relentlessly self-involved in their own...

By Jef Otte

May 17, 2011

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In this crazy culture of individuality, people like to express themselves. They like to personalize their personal things so that everybody will know how personal they are, because our lives in the culture of personalization hinge on the assumption that other people are not too relentlessly self-involved in their own personalization to care about ours. Still, however oblivious everyone else may be to how awesome our unicorn-themed Trapper Keeper is, we can see here that it nevertheless pays to be cautious.

For example, you might be giving some kind of boring-ass PowerPoint presentation, and your screensaver might come on to give everyone a much-needed moment of entertainment -- and what that entertainment is might just say something about you. For example, is it a video of some adorable monkeys frolicking together in the jungle? Then maybe you're a person who likes animals. Is it a video of an adorable toddler smearing vegetable paste all over himself and his high-chair? Then maybe you're a proud parent, unless you are not a parent, in which case that would be somewhat creepy.

What you definitely don't want to say about yourself is that you are a person who enjoys the sight of udder-like tits bizarrely undulating against what appears to be a plate glass window -- in fact, you should probably avoid porno altogether. But if you do insist on porno, at least make it compelling porno, like midgets or something. Because good lord, those things look like a couple of fleshy punching bags.

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