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Just in case you doubted that Westword was the foremost authority on dumb shit that happens in the media, know this: We're such an authority even other media outlets seek our expertise. And when I say "our expertise," I mean "my expertise." Yesterday, in advance of the Violent Torpedo of Truth's stop here in Denver (which underwhelmed us, by the way), Fox 31 News stopped by to interview me about Charlie Sheen, because I am apparently qualified to comment on Charlie Sheen.
You'll probably be too focused on your near-irresistible sexual attraction to me to notice, but my personal favorite moment comes after I'm done talking, at around 2:55 -- check out Ron Zappolo's awesome look while "Winning" girl is talking. You're killing me, Smalls.