Ugly Christmas sweaters are big. Really big. That's partly because we are all becoming punch drunk with the holiday spirit, having been bombarded with sappy Christmas music and deals, deals, deals! -- ad nauseum -- for the last couple of weeks, since the 21st century modern world can't reconcile the seasonal rat race with our helpless longing for dying traditions. Or maybe we just want to have fun -- as the Ladies Fancywork Society did last week with a certain bison parked in front of History Colorado (shown above, or drive by and see for yourself).
Here are six places where you can indulge your ugly sweater fetish around Denver as Christmas creeps ever closer.
See also: Have an Intense Christmas From Westword
6) Show Me YOUR Denver Gift Exchange CSU Denver 410 17th Street, Suite 450, 2nd Floor Meeting Space 5:30 to 8 p.m. Wednesday, December 17 Free, by reservation
CityBuild, a group of creatives dedicated to fostering collaboration and idea-sharing in the local community, puts a different spin on the holiday mixer with this Denver-centric gift exchange. Ugly sweaters are welcome, but the organizers hope guests will further localize their gear by wearing Denver-themed garb. Bring a gift that represents why you love our city to trade with a complete stranger; everyone will be asked to elaborate on how and why they selected their gifts. You might make a new friend!
Billed as the "holiday show you shouldn't take your kids to," Dave Shirley's Santa's Big Red Sack, a funny, sketch-comedy-based holiday staple at the Avenue for six years, ends its 2014 run this coming weekend. Where does the ugly sweater come in? Wear one to the performance, and you'll receive a special holiday gift bag along with the laughs. Tickets are flying like Santa's sleigh; reserve ASAP.
4) Roll: Ugly Sweater Mixer Exdo Event Center 9 p.m. Friday December 19 Admission: $5 (free from 9 to 10 p.m.), plus $5 skate rental
Exdo's monthly adult rollerskating party urges skaters to don their ugliest sweaters for a lap or two around the floor in December. DJ Pop A Lot will provide the spins; the event recently added ping pong tables for another level of off-rink fun. Roll is an event for ages 21+.
3) Ugly Sweater Party Howl at the Moon 6 p.m. Friday, December 19 Admission is free if you wear an ugly sweater
All you have to do to get into this ugly-sweater soiree at Denver's dueling pianos bar for free is wear your absolute ugliest -- but don't forget to bring some bucks for free-flowing Heinekens, Jingle Bombs and Cousin Eddy punch. And the uglier the better -- a $100 prize will be awarded for the best/worst holiday garb.
2) The Ugly Sweater Run Dick's Sporting Goods Park 11 a.m. Saturday, December 20 $35 to $40 solo runner $30 to $35 per person for four-person teams
There's nothing quite like the sight of hundreds of holiday-clad nerds running in unison, and you can be part of that picture this weekend at Dick's. No need to overextend yourself: This romp around the track includes photo and hot-chocolate stations, holiday tunes and inflatables along the route, and Sam Adams suds and prizes galore -- for best mustache (real and fake) or beard, as well as best and worst sweater - at the finish line. Need help gearing up? The Ugly Sweater Run has its own online emporium to help out.
1) Nightmare Before Christmas/Ugly Sweater Karaoke Party Shananigans 8807 West Colfax Avenue, Lakewood 8 p.m. Tuesday, December 23 Free
Karaoke and ugly sweaters were surely made for each other, and that's what you'll get at this Lakewood holiday bash. Participants are invited to bring holiday munchies potluck-style and compete in a round of ugly-sweater contests.
Get Your Ugly On Sweaters 2105 South College Ave #D Fort Collins 80525 970-412-4714
The most common go-to for ugly-sweater hunting is your local thrift store, but at this point, they're bound to be picked through. But the Fort Collins brick-and-mortar storefront Get Your Ugly On sells nothing but ugly sweaters and has new stuff on the racks daily, even in December. Can't spare the drive north and back? Check out the emporium's online store.
Too much ugliness for you? Visit our online Holiday listings for more ways to celebrate the season.
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