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Soul Surfer is this week's most ridiculous trailer

Sometimes, the most interesting thing about a movie is its cast. And not so much the acting of the cast, but the concept of this cast in this movie -- how did these people get here? Soul Surfer, for example, is a movie where even Helen Hunt and Dennis Quaid seem to be slumming it, and that's pretty impressive in its own right. Also, what is Carrie Underwood doing in this movie? What is Carrie Underwood doing in any movie -- because if this trailer is any indication, she sure can't act.

Then again, neither can Annasophia Robb, and she's the lead, so... there's that. But who needs acting when you're basically just plugging numbers into a formula?

Within the first 19 seconds of this trailer, it's easy enough to surmise the plot: 1. You know something terrible is going to happen, because no setting is that idyllic unless something terrible is about to happen. Plus, there's a native-looking guy who's all like, "with her heart and her will, she'll go far" -- and anytime anything even resembling an Indian says you have heart and will, something terrible is definitely about to happen. 2. It's a surfing movie, so it'll probably be a shark attack. 3. But... you also know because of the idyll and the somehow Carrie Underwood-related familial love that there will later be redemption, and after she gets over her own self-doubt, she'll win some kind of thing and the movie will probably end with Indian guy putting a lei around her neck and everybody learns that having a disability is cool as long as you're a smoking-hot babe like Annasophia Robb.

So there you go -- now why drag that out for ninety minutes?

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