Ten Coloradans who should make an "It Gets Better" video
John Elway, Broncos legend, executive VP of football operations for the team Why he might: There's already been at least one local request for the team to make one (see above). There's a stigma in the NFL against gay athletes, who remain closeted. Elway, who pisses manly excellence, could do much to break down those walls.
Why he might not: Elway's a big Republican donor, and conservatives are rightly or wrongly known for ignoring LGBT issues (in favor of a "traditional family" agenda) and, at worst, posting insane photos of ugly lesbians adopting America's children.
Pete Coors, Chairman of the Molson Coors Brewing Company and Chairman of MillerCoors Why he might: That Schmitt's Gay SNL spoof so many years ago felt like a gayer Coors Light commercial anyway, despite the bottle's Bud Light-like label. But more importantly, Coors "provided benefits to the partners of its gay and lesbian employees, in addition to promoting its beer in gay bars."
Why he might not: Coors said during a run for U.S. Senate in 2004 that he didn't support same-sex marriage -- which isn't the same thing as encouraging teenagers confused about their sexual orientation to commit suicide, but it doesn't bode well for a Coors video spot.
Jim Daly, Focus on the Family president Why he might: Because it'd be one of the biggest domestic news stories of the day, leading to more stories and press devoted to the Colorado Springs-based Holy Christian Empire. This is of course assuming that FotF recognizes that being gay is in one's biological makeup and not something that can be "prayed away." But what a move toward tolerance in this country it would be if Jim Daly even went halfway with something like, "You'll find your way soon enough. It gets better."
Why he might not: Because he's the president of Focus on the Family. What would make for an earnest move toward tolerance would also mean potential funding losses in the millions. Plus, no one wants to get on James Dobson's bad side.
Dr. Paul Cameron, chairman of the Colorado Springs-based Family Research Institute Why he might: Because it may snow in Hell one day.
Why he might not: Cameron has written papers associating homosexuality with perpetration of child sexual abuse and reduced life expectancy, and his Family Research Institute is known for its essay, "Can Anything Be Done to Stop Gay Rights?" So we're betting no.
Michelle Malkin, Fox News contributor, columnist, blogger Why she might: The Colorado Springs resident would extend an olive branch to the gay community and its bullied teenagers by doing an It Gets Better ad -- plus, it's bound to boost ratings during her on-air appearances for the Fox News Channel. Why she might not: Defender of anti-gay marriage activists, Malkin stands up for those who defend hetero-marriage from crazy, hate-filled homos.
Tom Tancredo, former congressman, presidential candidate Why he might: Because, quite simply, Tom has proven he's a good sport. We might be a little biased, but it's clear that, as politician and former politician, Tancredo's up for anything. Which means he could be convinced that making an It Gets Better video could help the little Toms around Colorado's cities and high country, plains and forests. As long as they're American, though.
Why he might not: His voting record on issues concerning the LGBT community doesn't look so hot. But hey, he's a man who's up for anything!
Ted Haggard, disgraced former preacher Why he might: Because, more than four years after that infamous November 2006 claim by Denver-based gay male prostitute Mike Jones that Haggard (hereafter known as "Pastor Ted") was his sexual partner and sometime-meth user, Pastor Ted finally came out in February 2011 as being a little more than bi-curious. Finally.
Why he might not: There really shouldn't be any reason why he shouldn't. Had Pastor Ted watched an It Gets Better during his teen years in the '70s, this whole mess might have been avoided. Let your freak flag fly, Pastor Ted!
Scott Renfroe, Colorado State Senator Why he might: It would pretty much blow the mind of everyone living.
Why he might not: Scott Renfroe is most (in)famous for some remarks he made back in 2009, wherein, on the senate floor, he read aloud from the biblical passage that condemns homosexuals to death and then compared homosexuality to murder. So probably not.
Bill Owens, former Colorado Governor Why he might: He may be a republican, but during his tenure as governor of Colorado, Bill Owens did sign a bill allowing protection to gays under Colorado's hate crimes law -- which is basically what It Gets Better is about: Stopping crimes against people based on their sexual orientation.
Why he might not: Interestingly, at exactly the same time, Owens vetoed a bill extending workplace discrimination protection to gays, indicating he doesn't want them to get beat up, but he'sokay with them getting fired. Also, again, republican.
Todd Helton, Colorado Rockies first baseman Why he might: With his badassitude and enviable batting average, along with his official status as Colorado's most hetero man, Todd Helton would have a lot to offer to struggling gay teens in the way of encouragement, and while he's not explicitly in favor of gay rights, he's never come out against it, either.
Why he might not: He's from Tennessee, which is not exactly a hotbed of gay, and he once quipped to the Post that he wasn't going answer "any gay questions." On the other hand, as long as the It Gets Better video doesn't involve any questions, he'll probably be fine.
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